Archive | March 13, 2012

It truly is a confederacy of dunces.

So many times in my life I’ve made choices and done things out of a sense of obligation.  A sense of obligation to my family, my job, or my friends.  I just can’t do it anymore.  I told you about my sister’s plan for us to try to save my parents’ house.  Well, I went up there this past weekend to help her show the basement and cabin to a few people to see if we could get them rented.  While I was there we discussed my moving up there and find a job.  I didn’t want to do it, but I agreed to do it just to help them out.  When I got home I was supposed to tell Manwhore that I would be moving out by April 1st.  I felt like I was being backed into a corner.  I either could help my parents out and screw Manwhore over by only giving him a few weeks to find another place, or I could stay here and feel like I was betraying my family by not helping them.

Once I got home on Sunday afternoon I was too tired to do much of anything.  I especially didn’t feel like dropping the bomb on him right then and possibly getting into an argument with him over my leaving.  Monday evening I decided I had to go ahead tell him.  I tried to be very calm and nice about it and thoroughly explain my reasons for leaving.  Surprisingly he was very nice and understanding about it.  He didn’t blow up or get upset at all.  The only thing he really said was that I need to stop doing whatever my family, in this case my sister, tells me to do.  I already know that though, and it may seem that I go running when they need something, but that’s not exactly how it’s been.

I know I have a problem saying no to my family.  How could I say no when they’ve helped me out so many times?  Even though I bought my sister a truck, paid my parents taxes on the house, and have done everything I could to help my dad with his ministry, it’s never enough for them.  They have thanked me, but when they need something and I say no, that’s when they act like I never do anything for them.  My sister even had the balls to tell me today that next time I need a place to live, don’t come crawling back to her.  What the hell is she talking about?  Yes, I moved in with her and Little Bubba when I left Skaterboi, but I wasn’t freeloading.  I was babysitting for her and helping with the bills.  When she and I lived together before she got pregnant with Little Bubba I was the one paying the bills.  Even though she was working, she never seemed to have any money left after feeding all of her animals.

I love my family and my sister, but I can’t live like that anymore.  If she wants to live in the country on a farm with her animal menagerie and be Elly May Clampett while Little Bubba runs around naked peeing on the trees, then that’s fine.  That’s just not the life for me.

So it seems that I won’t be leaving the Big Easy after all.  My family may disown me after this, but C’est la vie.

Happy humping!