Swinging with Santa

Now y’all already know that I’ve been on Plenty of Fish off and on for a while now. During another fit of boredom yesterday evening I set my profile to unhidden. As I was going through their “meet me” feature on my phone, consistently hitting the “No” button, someone caught my eye. I paused for a minute before hitting the “No” button. I’ll admit that the Santa hat and goofy smile sort of appealed to me. Instead of hitting the “No” button, I clicked to view his profile. He’s not too far away and is the same age as me. He seemed cool, but I didn’t bother messaging him. I did show the picture of him wearing the Santa hat to Manwhore just for fun. His reaction? “What a goofball.” In which I replied, “But he’s a cute goofball.”

At about 6:30 pm I got a message from him. “Hey there. ****** here. Hope you had a great week.” It was a nice short message so I replied, and then this morning I had a message from him which included his phone number. We were texting back and forth all day and he emailed me about a dozen pictures. Some of which were a little revealing so say the least. Then he called me this afternoon and we had a nice little conversation. Manwhore walked in just as I was hanging up the phone.

I walked out into the living room as he was coming through the door and he said, “What’s with the big goofy smile?” I sort of giggled and said I didn’t know and then headed into the kitchen. Then my phone dinged and it was another email from Santa. Manwhore was standing behind me looking over my shoulder as I opened the attached picture. I immediately covered the bottom half of the screen because I caught a quick glimpse of what the picture included.

MH: “What’s that? Let me see.”

So I showed him the picture, well, most of it. He wasn’t satisfied with just that and took my phone so he could see the whole picture.

MH: “Oh my God.”

Yeah, I was laughing and blushing at the same time at this point.

Me: “Well, you said you wanted to see.”

I told him that the guy in the picture was the same one from the Santa cap picture. Then Art came up in the conversation. Yeah, I know I wasn’t going to talk about him anymore, but this is an exception to the rule. I have to to tell the story.

MH: “So who do you think is better looking? Santa or Art? And don’t go by how you feel about Art. I’m just curious.”

Me: “Ummm…well…to be honest Art is really handsome, but Santa is better looking…but….”

MH: “See, I told you you would find someone else. You’ve already met someone better looking.”

Me: “But…but I really liked Art. He was funny and smart and we had so much in common and…”

MH: “But you will find someone even better.”

Me: (Rolling my eyes in frustration.) “I know.”

MH: “So what do you think of Witchy Poo?”

Me: “I like her. She’s really nice. Why?”

MH: “Good. She likes you too. She swings both ways too you know.”

Me: “Really? Wow. Is everyone bisexual now? I think Santa is bi too. What the hell?”