All right now

Squammie left a comment on my last post “What’s going on?” and he suggested that I give Art some space.  I am trying to do just that, and I told him that if/when he wants to talk to just let me know.  I haven’t heard from him since.  I really just don’t understand why he changed his tune all of a sudden, unless it just took time to all sink in.  He did tell me that he didn’t mind my writing about him as long as I didn’t use his real name.  So I don’t think it’s because I wrote about him, or because of what I said about him.  As far as I can recall I only said good things about him, so that can’t be it.

My sister assures me that it’s all because of the blog.  She says he just couldn’t handle the real me.  I thought I was always the real me though.  Just because I don’t tell everyone my life story as soon as I meet them, and believe me I have tried that before and it was never a good thing, it doesn’t mean that I am not honest about who I am.

You may be wondering, if he read my blog and could still be reading it, then why do I continue to write about all of this?  Because it’s my damn blog, and if I can’t write about what I want to write about then what’s the point?  I love that people read it and give me feedback, but I didn’t start it with my readers in mind.  I started writing this thing because I needed an outlet to vent my feelings, frustrations, and to get my crazy life out of my head so that it wouldn’t in turn drive me crazy.

Since he told me that about writing more about what I feel above the waist I have tried to do just that.  I know I focus on sex too much, but that’s only because I love it and it am sincerely interested in it.  It’s not just because I want to fuck everyone I can.  I’ll get my focus back though.

Things learned or gained from my brief relationship with Art:

  • I really like Rush.
  • I need to write more about my feelings, even though it sometimes makes me nauseous to even think about doing that.
  • Humor is my drug of choice.
  • Most people in my life can’t handle the truth about me.
  • I should never tell anyone about my blog ever again.
  • My sister is right about one thing: men are just a pain in the ass to deal with most of the time and I’d be better off remaining single.
  • I like blondes.
  • I need to get out more.
  • I like who I am, faults and all.
  • I need to drink more wine.
  • Manwhore may be bisexual.
  • It’s more important to be with someone who I have a lot in common with, not to be with someone who puts my sex drive into overdrive.
  • Gene Simmons isn’t the only one with cool kids.
  • I need to become a lesbian.

That’s all.  I’m done talking about Art now.

Happy humping!

4 thoughts on “All right now

  1. I think when we reveal our true selves and get a negative reaction, our first instinct is to change the thing about us that caused the reaction. But it’s faulty thinking. I don’t think you need to feel ashamed or bad about who you are because Art reacted that way.

    Perhaps if he’d discovered all of this later in your relationship, his reaction might’ve been different. It would be tempered by all that he’d grown to know over time (outside of what you write about) and would therefore be a balanced view of you. But he read your blog now, when his knowledge of you is tenuous, and therefore this became all of who you are to him. An unbalanced view.

    Understandably, and completely outside of who you are, he might feel overwhelmed at learning all your thoughts and past actions in one go. But maybe you wanted to share it? Because deep down you must’ve known that sharing a part of your blog would eventually lead him to the rest?

    Either way, be who you are without censorship. It’s an act of courage but the other road will bring you no more comfort.

  2. I totally agree with you reasoning to keep writing. If you start or stop writing because of what someone else may think then you aren’t being true to yourself.

    I saw this comment today and thought I should share it with you… It’s from a couple named Marc and Angel who offer “life advice.”

    If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. Remember, anyone can come into your life and say how much they love you. But it takes someone really special to stay in your life and show you how much they love you. So slow it down. True love is worth the wait.

    Good luck and hang in there…


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