Archive | March 2012

Road Trippin’ & Auto Mechanics with the Preacher’s Daughters

Last weekend my Momma, my sister (Fallen Angel), my nephew (Little Bubba), and I went on a road trip.  The plan was to take my mom to meet my aunt somewhere around half way between my sister’s house and my aunt’s house.  That meant that we would be traveling about three hours one-way.  However, road trips with my mom, sister & nephew never go as planned.

We were supposed to leave by 10:00 am Saturday morning.  That didn’t happen.  My mom is notorious for taking her time and being late to everything.  She’s a wonderful woman, but she has no sense of time or urgency.  So it was about noon before we actually hit the road.  Once on the road I had to stop and get an oil change since we were in my car and it probably had been six months or more since I had it changed.  (I’m notorious for being a procrastinator, unlike my mom.)

The entire time we were getting the oil changed they were all complaining about being hungry and having low blood sugar.  God forbid if their blood sugar gets low.  It’s more of a joke than a fact.  The Preacher has borderline diabetes and gets extremely grumpy when he doesn’t eat right, so we always tell him to eat before his blood sugar gets low and he turns into the Hulk.  It’s gotten to the point that even my six year-old little brother told my mom after school one day that he needed a snack because his blood sugar was low.  Kids are so funny.

Before we could go eat though, we had to try to put some freon in my car’s A/C.  It’s barely been working for about a year now.  When you have two post-menopausal women in the car, you really need the A/C working, so sis and I were determined to fix it ourselves.  We already had the adapter and the can of freon.  The guy at the oil change place was nice enough to show Fallen Angel where to attach it to the car.  She seemed confident enough that we could get the job done.

We pulled into a space in the parking lot and popped the hood.  With the adapter attached I cranked the car and it began sucking in the freon.  Seemed easy enough.  My sister even pulled up a how-to video on YouTube for us to watch.  After ten minutes though the air still wasn’t blowing colder.  Another ten minutes and still nothing.  We finally gave up.

So after the oil change, arguing over where to stop and eat, then eating, trying to fix the A/C, then getting back on the road, it was about 1:30 pm.  Better late than never, right?

Whenever we are all stuck in the car together for long periods of time the conversation tends to be all over the place.  At one point we were talking about skin care and once again I made the mistake of hounding my sister about the importance of using sunscreen.  I half-jokingly told her that that’s why I look so young and beautiful.  Her reply?  “That’s only because you’ve never even been out in the sun.”  It’s true.  I’m one of those redheads that treats the sun like it’s my arch-nemesis.  I’ve had a couple of bad sunburns over the years and I’d really rather not have that happen again.  I do venture out into the daylight when necessary though.  I also know that tans are supposed to make you look better and all, but I’m perfectly happy with my lily-white skin and freckles, so long as it doesn’t get all wrinkly before I turn sixty.  So wear your sunscreen boys & girls!  Like I tell my sister, you’ll thank me in ten years! 😉

After that little chat we stopped for a potty break.  My Mom was taking forever so I got some nicotine in me while I had the chance.  That’s always the worst part of those long road trips with my family.  I have to wait until we make a stop before I can have a smoke.  Even then if my mom sees me she nags me about it.

She finally came back to the car and as we were leaving she said, “Hurry up and get us out of here.  All those old men in there were gettin’ kind of flirty with me.”  I told her that they just weren’t used to seeing a car load of pretty women in those parts.  We have all our teeth.

So on we went.  We made it to another gas station and called my aunt.  She had driven five hours already and we were running so late that she was almost there.  We were way off from meeting her half way as planned, but it was late so I was relieved that I didn’t have to drive any further.  After my aunt arrived we loaded all my mom’s stuff into her truck and said our goodbyes.  I’m not sure how my mom always manages to leave with twice as much stuff as she comes with, but she’s turned it into an art form.

The conversation with my sister during the drive back was even more interesting because mom was gone and Little Bubba was passed out in the back in his car-seat.  Sis and I started catching each other up on our latest man-problems.  She wanted to know what had happened with Art and the latest news on Manwhore.  We tend to go into “TMI” territory sometimes when discussing our man problems and this time was no different.  She just couldn’t understand why Art & I had such problems in the boudoir.  To be honest I still don’t understand it myself.  Then she had an epiphany that only a blonde could have.  She said that he must have an E.D. problem.  For those of you that don’t know, E.D. stands for erectile dysfunction.  At first I tried to tell her that it couldn’t be E.D. because, well, it just couldn’t be.  She kept asking questions though and eventually it kind of made sense, if only in a “we’re just being funny evil bitches at the poor guy’s expense” kind of way.  She suggested that we call and have a sample of Viagra sent to him, anonymously of course.  LOL  I couldn’t do that to him though.  That would just be mean, and I don’t really believe that was his problem.  I know I’m not supposed to be talking about him anymore so I’ll stop there.  LOL

Then she started going though my Plenty of Fish messages and picking out the guys that had also messaged her.  I always find it amusing when guys are interested in both of us.  We’re so completely different.  It just doesn’t make any sense to me.  It’s even funnier when they send us both the same opening lines.  Apparently it has become necessary though for us to compare notes so we don’t end up going out with the same ones, or at the very least we have to pick who gets which guys.  LOL

I do love the conversations that I have with my sister.  There are certain things that only we can discuss with one another.

It was a long tiring day, but I was happy that I got to see my mom and spend some quality family time with them all.  They may drive me crazy sometimes, but I love them anyway.

Happy humping!

Snippets

Manwhore: “I really do love you. You’re like my family.  I can’t say like my sister though, because I wanna fuck you.”

Manwhore: “I don’t know why we’re not together.  We get along great, have fun, can talk about anything…  Well, I know why we’re not together…”

Me:  “And why is that?”

Manwhore:  (After a few seconds of silence & a confused look) “Hmmm.  I don’t know.”

Me:  LOL

Fallen Angel:  “You should have seen all the crazy coupon clippers in Winn-Dixie today buying up all the paper towels.”

Me:  “Is there a flood coming?”

Fallen Angel:  “You really should try this iced coffee.  Little Bubba loves it.  He was walking around saying ‘Can’t find my toffee momma.  Find my toffee.’  He’s running laps around the house now.  I don’t know why.”

Me:  “Gee, I wonder. LOL”

Stay tuned for my next installment in the “[Something] with the Preacher’s Daughters” series.  (Remember “Woodworking with the Preacher’s Daughters” & of course “A night out with the Preacher’s Daughters: Parts 1, 2 & 3“?)  I didn’t forget that I’m supposed to let you know how the trip went with Momma, Fallen Angel & Little Bubba.  It’s gonna be a good one! 😉

Happy humping!

A Double What???

I had to share this real quick.  Remember Santa?  Well, he sent me a message on Plenty of Fish yesterday asking if we were ever going to meet.  He said that he is going to a party tomorrow night and wanted to know if I would like to go with him.  My first thought was, I wonder what kind of party it is.  Turns out I was right to wonder that.

He sent me a text later saying that he wasn’t sure if he was going because it’s about a half hour away.  He also said that it’s a “double gang bang party.”  WTF?

Yeah, at that point I didn’t know what to say or how to respond so I just stopped responding all together.  I definitely don’t want to be one half of the double getting gang banged, so I’m going to leave that one alone.  I may have my wild side, but it comes to a complete and full stop at gang banging.

Happy humping!

Here’s the situation…

Now that I’ve updated you on my “employment situation“, now I can update you on my “man situation.”

Last week I didn’t get to see Rocketman because he was sick with that nasty bug that’s been going around.  I hate that he was sick, but I think it was good that we were forced to stay away from one another for a while.  It gave us both time to think and figure out how to deal with his friend Mountain Man.  Neither one of us wanted to hurt Mountain Man’s feelings, and Rocketman didn’t want to lose his friend’s trust either.  We kept our texting to a minimum and in the mean time Rocketman tried to get a feel for how Mountain Man was feeling about me.

It seems that even though Mountain Man hadn’t really been texting/messaging me all that much, he still wished he & I could hang out more.  That news surprised me because I had hoped his lack of communication meant that he had forgotten about me and moved on.  Since that was not the case we decided to lay low for a while longer and see if Mountain Man would eventually forget about me.

When I got back from my sister’s on Sunday I sent Rocketman a text to say hi and that it really sucked not being able to hang out with him.  He agreed and started formulating a new plan.

I have to add here that I recently read somewhere that when we (humans) make plans, God giggles.  I think that’s true.  I also read that any delays we encounter are only designed to put us in exactly the right place at exactly the right time.  Again, that seems to be true.  If I hadn’t of gone and met Mountain Man that day, I probably never would have met Rocketman.

I got a text yesterday afternoon from Rocketman.  He said he talked to Mountain Man and told him that he kept seeing my profile on Plenty of Fish (not the full truth, but close enough), and if he wasn’t going to pursue me, would it be cool if he messaged me.  Mountain Man didn’t have any objections, so maybe things will work out after all.  If it works out to where I can date Rocketman, be friends with Mountain Man, and not upset the balance of their relationship, thereby avoiding any weird Fleetwood Mac drama, then that would be great.

We immediately made plans to hang out tomorrow night. 🙂  At this point I’m so happy that I’ll get to see him soon because after the day I had yesterday I need a good distraction.  Not that he’s just a distraction.  I really like him too.  He’s a great guy and so far it seems that he’s just as smitten with me as I am with him.  Could he be my moth?  I could definitely be his.

As a side note…life in New Orleans has been very interesting so far.  I’ve had a lot of fun here, drank quiet a lot here, shed a few tears here, met a few crazies here, and met a lot of talented artists and musicians here.  There’s a reason why this is called the city that care forgot, and I think it’s starting to rub off on me.

Happy humping!

The wheel in the sky keeps on turnin’

It seems that when one nice thing happens, something terrible has to happen right after that, then something good, and so on and so forth.  It’s an endless cycle.  Maybe it’s God’s way of keeping us from being too settled in…keeping us on our toes.  Either that or he loves playing practical jokes on us.

I was sitting in my office yesterday morning doing my usual dredging through the mountains of paperwork when our CPA (and basically my boss) walks in.  I usually don’t see her because she has a day job elsewhere and only comes by at night, so I was a little surprised to see her walk in yesterday morning.  She said she needed to talk to me.  Oh, shit.  That’s never a good thing to hear.

Indeed she had bad news.  Evidently things just weren’t working out and she needed to let me go.  Well, fuck a duck.  She didn’t even really tell me what I had done wrong.  Only that she needed someone with more experience.  Well shouldn’t she have thought about that before she hired me?  Plus I have 20 years experience.  How much more experience does she want?  I think she found someone else for the job.  Someone they know, if you know what I mean, and I was just a seat warmer.  Nepotism is a bitch boys and girls.

So now I’m unemployed again.  As soon as I got home I filed for my unemployment and started looking for another job.  I haven’t told Manwhore yet.  He was out with Witchy Poo and another friend distributing brochures for his new tour business.  I’m not looking forward to that conversation.  Maybe it won’t be too bad though.  Maybe he’ll show a little compassion and understanding since I didn’t really do anything to deserve being fired.  Hey, a girl can dream can’t she?  In the mean time I told my sister that I would try to hold off on telling him as long as possible.  She said to have a bag packed just in case.  LOL

The good news is that I just got a call about a job, and now I have an interview at 3:00 pm today.  Yay!  Wish me luck!

Happy humping!