Archive | January 2012

Growin’ up on ZZ Top and Strawberry Shortcake.

I know that’s probably not the best title for a Martin Luther King Jr. Day post, but then again maybe it explains a lot.  By the way, I know I’m technically posting this the day after MLK Jr Day.

When I was growing up in Alabama racism was not something I thought about often.  It was the South though and it was all around me.  Even then, back in the 1970s and 1980s, I knew it was there, but no one talked about it much.  It was more of how whites treated blacks.  It was usually subtle, but it was still there.  It was like the skeleton in the family closet…the secret that everyone knew about, but didn’t talk about out of shame and fear of what others might think of them.

Typical music that I would hear when riding around with my Aunt in her convertible VW Beetle in the summer.

Even dear old Dad, the Preacher, was a blatant racist for a very long time.  He was the typical good old country boy who worked from the age of thirteen in the family business.  When I was a kid he worked 12+ hour days with my Paw Paw in their welding shop.  They had about a dozen employees usually and a few were black men.

One man in particular, Bill, was young and new to the business.  My Dad was sort of hard on him and very critical.  I remember overhearing him talking to my mom about Bill one time.  Dad was complaining about how Bill was dating a white girl.  At the time it didn’t really phase me because I was used to that just being how people thought.  I didn’t really know any better.

I had black friends growing up.  My best friend in the sixth grade was a black girl.  It’s not that I disliked them, or was a racist, I just inherently knew how people felt about things like that.  I was too naïve to know I should or could ever think otherwise.

From 1971 to 1987 George Wallace was governor of the state of Alabama.  This meant that for 13 years of my life, there was a racist in the governor’s mansion.  You remember George don’t you?  He’s the one who said, “segregation now, segregation tomorrow, segregation forever.”

When my Dad became the Preacher in 1985 his views on things changed drastically.  This included his views on racism.  He no longer viewed himself as being better than anyone else, nor did he continue believing that segregation was the right way.

When he started preaching he would take us to different churches around our part of the state and several of them were black churches.  I know that’s not the best way to describe them, but that’s what I always heard them called.  I loved going because it was always so different from the churches that we normally went to.  The music was better, more upbeat, the people were friendly, and the sermons were fiery and interesting.

When I think back on everything I’ve heard and seen, it’s hard for me to believe that I turned out to be such an anti-racist.  Seriously.  Things could have gone completely different for me, but somehow I overcame my environment and grew up an open-minded person who believes we are all created equal.

What’s even better is that now I have an adopted little brother who is half-black half-white, I have dated just about every race there is, and I’m now in a monogamous relationship with a wonderful Creole man.  So not only did I turn out OK, my Dad managed to overcome his ignorance and came to believe as I do.  We may not agree on a lot, but this is something we definitely agree on.  We agree so much that we both have put our lives and safety on the line for our beliefs on this subject several times.  He even marched right next to Jesse Jackson once.  For the Preacher, the former racist good old boy, that was a major milestone.

Standing up for what is right and true is the most wonderful feeling in the world.  That’s the one thing that the Preacher has taught me that I will remember until the day I die.  Love knows no color, creed or race.  Thank you Daddy.

This was filmed only eight blocks from my new home. 🙂

Happy humping!

Manwhore’s Whores: Well that was just gross.

Oh my God.  Every time I finally get the chance to sit down and write something, something else happens and I have to start writing a whole new post about what’s going on right then before I forget or lose my momentum.

Tonight I started working on my “The Rest of My Top Threesomes” post when five minutes in I heard what sounded like someone choking in the next room.  It was Whore #4 and Manwhore was evidently fucking the shit out of her.  Great.  Now not only do I have to see them I have to hear them fucking too.  That’s just disgusting.

Now that they are done fucking, I have to hear her drunk trashy ass telling him to fuck off.  I don’t even want to know what caused the conversation to take such a nasty turn.  Maybe it’s just the bottle of wine she drank while she was getting higher than an Alabama whore’s hemlines.  Or maybe it’s just me.  LOL

I just cannot seem to stress enough how trashy this woman is.  Oh! And to top it off, when she got here she had a friend with her who was even trashier and even more inebriated.  That potential whore hurried herself on out to the bar to get even more wasted.

As I write she’s still bitching at him about something.  I just heard him tell her, “Well fuck you.”  What a great relationship those two have.  OK.  I can’t take any more.  I’m putting my headphones on now.  Kanye take me away…

I love my life.

Oh, and the Troll was back over last night.  I held it in as long as I could, but when I had a moment alone with Manwhore in the kitchen the other night I just had to let a little of my pent-up commentary out.

Me:  You are such a whore.

Manwhore:  You’re one too.

Me:  I know I am, but you take it to a whole…new…level.

Manwhore:  (staring at me and smiling)

Me:  (As I stood there smoking I had a wonderful idea and laughed out loud.)

Manwhore:  What’s so funny?

Me:  I had a great idea.  I’m gonna make a t-shirt for you…well, for your women.

Manwhore:  What’s it gonna say?

Me:  “I fucked Manwhore and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.”

Manwhore:  Really? (laughing)

Me:  Yes, really.  We could pass them out at the door as they leave.  Of course you’ll have to order them in bulk.  What sizes will we need?  Troll and whore?  (laughing myself silly)

I’m so bad.  LOL

Then he proceeded to try to get me to sleep with him.

On that note I’d like to show you my latest CafePress creations and ask for you to please join me in spreading the message of love and whoring to all the world.

Order yours today! LOL

And for you other Manwhores out there…

That’s all for now folks.  Thanks for reading and as always…

Happy humping!

Lady in the street..you know the rest.

I have a little catching up to do here.  I’ve been so engrossed in the whore parade coming through my apartment every night that I haven’t even bothered to tell you about my new man.  So while begging your forgiveness I shall dish out all the juicy details.  Enjoy.  I know I have. 😉

I mentioned in Welcome to the Whorehouse that I had messaged someone on OKCupid.com, set up a lunch date and then stood him up.  After forgiving me, he agreed to give me another chance.  He turned out to be awesome.  Manwhore met him and said that I had finally met my match.  LL Cool Bean and I have so many of the same interests.  It’s kind of weird.

Of course there are a couple of things we don’t agree on, but that’s normal, I think.  Also, he’s very tall, but very thin.  I’m just not used to men that thin.  I’m afraid I’m going to break him or something.  LOL  I took a gamble on my “tall man-big dick” theory.  It paid off, in a big way.

So here I am, in a monogamous relationship with a very cool younger man.  Well, I’m not earning my cougar status yet, but he is a few years younger. 😉

Happy humping!

Emergency post!

Oh dear sweet baby Jesus in a manger!  You’re not going to believe this!

Manwhore and I were in the kitchen smoking a little earlier, and he started inquiring about whether LL Cool Bean and I were dating exclusively.  I told him that I didn’t think LL Cool Bean was the type to cheat.  I sort of avoided telling him that yes, we are monogamous.  I’m not sure why.  Maybe it was that come hither stare he was giving me.  Who knows.

He asked a few more times in a few more ways.  Then as I went into the living room to sit down, I realized what he wanted.  As I sat down I told him that I wasn’t stupid.  I knew what he wanted, and LL Cool Bean and I are monogamous.  He said “OK.”  That was it.  I told him goodnight and went to my room.

Did you get all that?  Do you understand what this means???  I’m over him!  I resisted temptation and did NOT sleep with him!  What makes it even more amazing and satisfying about my turning him down, is that I’m incredibly horny and I still said no.  This is a miracle from on high.

Happy humping!

Manwhore’s Whores: Ugly, Uglier, Ugliest.

Before I tell you about Whore #8 I must tell you about a conversation that I had with Manwhore the night before I met Whore #8.

On Wednesday I sent Manwhore the following text message:

Good news. I’m not in love with you anymore.  I was thinking about it yesterday and realized that I’m just not feeling that way about you as much anymore.  I think seeing the types of women you bring over every night has helped.  [LL Cool Bean] has also helped me realize what I’ve been missing…real intimacy and you can’t give me what I need.  There is no point in chasing after something or someone who is basically a dead-end.

Yes, you read it right.  I finally made the giant leap from mushy love-struck pathetic girl to stand-up-for-my-own-needs honesty rocks girl.  He didn’t really comment on my revelation and breakthrough.  Come to find out, he was just saving it up for later.

That evening we were in the kitchen talking and he told me that my comment about the “types of women” he had been bringing over every night hurt his feelings and pissed him off.  Sorry buddy, but the truth hurts sometimes.

He admitted that he had been going a little overboard lately with the dating thing.  He even made it a point to tell me that he hadn’t slept with all of them.  That much I knew already.  He also said that he wasn’t used to dating women below his “level.”  He clarified this saying that until recently all the women who he has dated have been very pretty.  I’m not sure what “level” he thinks he is on, but it’s not as high up as he likes to think.

Hold on a minute.  Does he really believe that?  I’ve seen some of the women he has dated over the past two years and rarely have they been that attractive.  That’s the truth too, not just my biased opinion.  He then told me that he didn’t know if it was because he was getting older or what, but when he messages women on the (many) dating sites that he is on, he rarely gets responses.  The only messages he seems to be getting are from women who initiate contact with him, and to him they are below his level.  Yet he still goes out with them, or brings them home.

So, after that conversation I assumed he might try to find someone more to his liking and more on his “level.”  Not so, oh my God, that was so not the case.  Now I’d like to introduce you to Whore #8.

Whore #8

She came over the next night and when I saw her I instantly realized he had a serious problem.  It’s even more serious that I had thought.  Now even I know that people can’t help how they look, well, not completely.  There are things that can be done to make oneself more attractive.  Evidently she didn’t get that memo.  The first thing that came to mind when I saw her was “troll.”  I actually feel a little bad about that, but that was my honest to God first impression of her.

So if Manwhore realizes that he’s been excessively dating unattractive women, then why would he choose to bring Troll home?  What puzzled me even more was that he invited her over again the next night and had sex with her yet again.  At one point I walked into the living room on my way to the kitchen and they were making out on the couch.  Yuck.  I did not need to see that.

He then flew off to see the Bitch early Saturday morning.  You probably remember her as the one he called the “love of his life” and then after she milked him dry, she sent him back here broke and brokenhearted.  He’s kept in touch with her via text message since he moved back here last spring.  I’ll admit I’m curious to hear how his trip went.  I’m guessing it will not be a very fulfilling one for him.

For all his bitching and moaning about not being able to get over her, he doesn’t seem to be doing anything about it.  I just wanted to tell him that going up there is definitely not going to help him get over her.  Then again, he doesn’t listen to me so why bother.  Live and let live.

Happy humping!