Preach Nicki! Guess who’s the stupid hoe now!
Manwhore had Whore #11 over tonight for a little while. They had gone out and stopped by here before he took her home. She’s actually not bad-looking. I even kind of thought I might like her until she opened her mouth. She is another one with that high-pitched annoying redneck thick Cajun accent. The accent itself isn’t that bad when I hear a man with it, but it just doesn’t sound right coming out of a woman’s mouth.
When he got back from taking her home he told me that she was a little off, as in crazy. Oh well. At least I won’t have to hear her talk anymore.
Other than that I’ve thought a lot lately about how easy it is to be honest about things concerning other people, but being honest with myself is the hardest thing to do. That’s why I’m so glad to have my sister and friends like Manwhore who know me better than I know myself sometimes.
It’s also good to have my sister as a walking memory bank of my most extreme moments. While I was up visiting with her last weekend, her friend Swamp Boy came up with his son and had dinner with us and spent the night. While we were grilling out he said, “I didn’t know your sister was such a freak until that night at the bar.” What? He was talking about me being the freak by the way. I understood that much, but other than that I was confused. My sister said, “Yep, she was kind of wild that night.” I asked them what the hell I did that makes me the freak.
They then told me about the night we all went out on Bourbon Street. Swamp Boy said I saw the very hot shot-girl on the bar giving a guy a shot. She was holding it in her cleavage and bending over so the guy could drink it. Evidently I turned to Swamp Boy and said, “buy me a shot because I’ve gotta get me some of that.” He did. According to them I basically made out with the shot-girl right there on the bar, in front of God and everyone. Holy shit! How could I not remember that? I know I was drunk, but damn, I didn’t think I was that drunk. I do remember getting the shot from her, but I don’t remember any of the good stuff. Damn. I really need to stop drinking tequila when I go out…or maybe it was the two hand grenades. Either way, I can’t believe I can’t remember making out with a hot black chick.
The other thing that got me to thinking about how my friends know me better than myself is that tonight Manwhore asked me how things were really going with LL Cool Bean and I tried to be honest, but it still came out a lie. He quickly called me on it and told me that he’s not stupid, he knows I’m not totally happy with LL. It’s true. There are definitely things that I’ve contemplated over the last few days that really worry me, and those thoughts have made me reconsider having LL move in here permanently. I just feel like it’s all too rushed, and we should slow things down. I told Manwhore that and his response was that he believed I wasn’t really that attracted to LL.
I believe I told you already that LL is not the typical guy that I date, but I do really like him. He’s a great guy, nice, considerate, generous, but he also has his flaws. Flaws that are small, but they begin to pile up. One of the things is that he’s constantly looking for me if I leave him alone in the room for more than five minutes. Sometimes I feel a little suffocated. I enjoy having my personal time and space. He’s a little too needy and immature for my tastes. He’s only a couple of years younger than me, but the mental maturity level between men and women is just too great sometimes. I just don’t want to hurt him, and therefore don’t know what to do about it.
Here’s hoping that tomorrow will be a better day and I’ll have a clearer idea of what I need to do.