Love & Sex Q&A #4

Love & Sex4

If your lover kept a private journal that was easily accessible, under what circumstances might you read it without permission?  For example, what if your relationship were on the rocks and you were confused about your partner’s feelings?

This question really strikes a nerve for me for many reasons.  First of all I have kept journals since I was a kid, but really got into it when I was about 19 years old.

When I was 22 I moved to New York City to live with my first husband, Con Artist, and had a very difficult time adjusting and found journaling to be very therapeutic.  I wrote about my problems with him and his mother and her eight cats, yes, eight cats.  I’m allergic to animals by the way.  She knew that, but she didn’t care.  She hated me.  Anyway, it got to a point where he started reading my journal without my permission.  It pissed me off so I started writing stuff in it directed towards him.  I knew he would read it so I figured why not make the most of the situation.

There was another person who read my journal without my permission and that ended in disaster.  I think that if a person wants to know something about me then they should just ask.

All of that is probably what led me to this thing we call blogging.  This is basically an online version of my journal.  Even though I’ve still had a couple of boyfriends who found my blog and read it, I don’t regret writing it.  If they happen to find it and read it and if they really love me for who I am they should not be bothered by what I write.  If it does bother them, then they shouldn’t be reading it or they shouldn’t continue dating me.  It’s that simple.

Now to answer the question about me reading my lover’s journal.  I would not go and read someone’s private journal unless I had permission to do so.  That would be worse than going through someone’s email or phone.  If I’m confused about someone’s feelings then I should feel comfortable enough with them to just ask them about it without having to sneak around behind their back and spy on them.

Happy humping!

3 thoughts on “Love & Sex Q&A #4

  1. Without consent I couldn’t read through their stuff. Being so invasive, even with a good intention would still feel wrong to me. I publicly express my thoughts online because sometimes I can’t verbalize myself as poignantly or succinctly as I’d like to and people are free to read into my ramblings.

    My mom once read something I wrote and it hurt her feelings because I couldn’t tell her how I felt and she knew it was about her. I later told her that I was over how I felt after I wrote and got it out of my system.

    I have a question for you, you let people into your head whenever you write on your lovely blog, so what’s different about letting someone read your journal? Is your journal like the “Directors Cut”?

    • I use my journals to get stuff out of my system too. And yes, they are like a director’s cut. When I go back and read some of what I wrote it’s incredibly embarassing to see just how naive and stupid I’ve been. I guess not much has changed. LOL Since I started writing on here I’ve put my journal writing almost completely on hold. I guess because I’ve made the decision to try and be completely honest on here, so there’s no reason to double efforts. If I would have written it in my journal, it’s on here now.

      Oh, and I still try to keep this anonymous in hopes that people in my life won’t read it. Obviously that hasn’t been working perfectly so far, but that’s ok. It’s pushing me to be more honest with the people in my life.

  2. Hmm you scare me knowing you’ve been married 2 times…and i can’t help but love the nick name you gave hubby #1….the con artist…..hahahaha too funny!

    Anyway to answer your question, if i loved my mate and I knew of these journals and you didn’t lock them, I would read everything…

    Of course I can’t be a police officer for a similar situation…you see, if i were the cop and i saw drugs and huge stacks of cash on a table form a guy that i’m busting for doing bad things…well i would properly impound the drugs, arrest the guy but that cash? Oh hell no..it’s going home with me…

    So yes i would spy on you in order to know what you wanted that I wasn’t asking you. I would want to try to do everything i could in order to love you or keep you happier…is it bad? yes…but in the end, a person will fight for real love and damn all of the costs involved…

    T.

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