We were sitting in the living room watching “Love in the wild” tonight and they showed the pro golfer, Steele Dewald. (Who names their kid Steele? Wow, I thought my name was bad. Damn.) The following conversation ensues.
Me: I wonder what ever happened to my golfer guy in [city name]?
Fallen Angel: Who?
Me: You know, the married guy that I sneaked into that show home with a few years ago.
Fallen Angel: What?! You broke into a house?!
Me: Not exactly. It was a show home, the kind that has just been built in a subdivision and is open for people to look at.
Fallen Angel: What did you do there?
Me: Not much.
Fallen Angel: You did him there didn’t you?
Me: Not completely.
Fallen Angel: What does “not completely” mean? And why not completely?
Me: He was married.
Fallen Angel: So you did everything but screw?
Me: No, not everything. He was married.
Fallen Angel: I can’t believe you sneaked into a house and messed around with a married man.
Me: It’s not like it was the first time I’ve done that…sneaked into a show home I mean.
Fallen Angel: What? You’ve done it more than once?
Me: Only one other time, and that was a very long time ago. I think the guys were construction workers that time though.
Fallen Angel: Guys? There was more than one? How many were there? You did them both there?
Me: Just two, and no. I only did one there. I did the other one back at their apartment. I didn’t like him as much though. He looked like Mr. Clean and was too aggressive. So I did the first one again. He was cute.
Fallen Angel: [Little Bubba], you’re Aunt [PD] is a w-h-o-r-e.
Me: I said it was a long time ago! Plus they were Romanian and had bought me tequila shots all night. We went bowling after we left the club. Then we went to the show house, then back to their apartment, and then they took me home. I remember waking up later that evening and finding huge bruises all down my right leg. It took me a while to remember what I had done and figure out that they were from the bowling ball hitting my leg. I barely even remember going bowling.
Fallen Angel: Wow.
Me: It’s not like there were people living in the house.
Fallen Angel: So you basically just broke it in for the future owners.
Fallen Angel: You’re insane.
Me: Yep. 🙂
Song of the day: