Does the thought of physical force during sex excite you in any way?
Being a woman who has had sex forced upon me I do not find it exciting. I find it demeaning and cruel. When I was 22 I was slipped a date rape drug and woke up not able to remember what had happened. I only knew that something had happened and I was violently ill for three days afterwards.
Then there was the time in NYC when a guy forced anal on me. There have also been other times when men have tried to penetrate me analy and I had to make them stop. Even a couple of times I have had vaginal sex and something about the angle was bad and painful and I had to tell the guy to stop. Most men do stop when you tell them that they are hurting you, but some men don’t. Some men have told me that “it’s supposed to hurt.” I beg to differ. If it is painful then I am not enjoying it and do not want to continue.
I will confess however that a few years ago I got into playing Second Life online, and found some very strange areas to explore. There are whole “neighborhoods” set up like inner cities or other scary areas where you can role-play being raped or forced into sexual acts. I did try it a few times, but overall I was not turned on by the things that people would say when role-playing during these scenarios.
I think it was mostly just curiosity that made me want to try it. Having been raped and forced into doing things that were painful may have caused me to have a heightened interest in it. I’ll leave that for a therapist to decide one day.