Archive | June 9, 2011

Love & Sex Q&A #96

Love & Sex96

What would you do if you discovered that your 12-year-old son had been playing sexual games with your neighbor’s 6-year-old daughter?  What if the young girl were yours and the boy, your neighbor’s?

When I was about 8 years old our neighbors had a son who I think was around 11 years old.  He was kind of a redneck type kid who would come down to our house during the summer sometimes to hang out and play with me.  We lived in a semi-rural area and there weren’t a lot of kids around to play with so it was convenient for the both of us.  We usually rode our bikes and played on the slip & slide.  I had a playhouse in my yard that was like a small house.  My grandfather had built it for me and it even had electricity in it.  I remember one time when the neighbor boy had come over and we were playing in the playhouse and he wanted to play doctor.  I had no idea what that meant at the time, but evidently he had been told or figured it out himself.  When he said that he would show me his if I showed him mine, I told him no way.  I was a shy kid and definitely wasn’t going to do anything like that.

I remember a couple of other times when he tried something similar, but I never would do it.  One summer my dad had his pop-up camper parked in the yard and it was opened up.  I think my cousins and I had used it to sleep in while they were there visiting from Florida.  Well, the neighbor boy was over one day and he and I were playing in the camper.  He tried yet again to get me to do something and my dad interrupted us before anything happened.  My dad freaked out and banned the boy from ever coming to our house to play with me ever again.  I was still too young to completely understand why my dad was so upset, but I knew it must have been bad.

Could that early introduction into sexual curiosity have contributed to my future sexual deviancy?  Who knows.

I think if I had a son and he did something like that I would probably be upset because boys that age should know better.  That’s only if their parents teach them better though.  Ultimately it’s the parents who are responsible and I hope that I would have taught my kid better than that.  I know kids are curious, but they have to get those types of ideas from somewhere.

If it were my daughter I would be just as upset.  I would hope that I would have taught her well enough that she would tell the boy that she didn’t want to play those games and would come to me immediately and tell me what had happened.  Kids are strange creatures though and they are curious and going to want to experiment with certain things.  Plus what is a 6-year-old doing alone with a 12-year-old who isn’t related to her anyway?  You have to watch your kids people!  You can’t just let them run around like little hellions doing whatever they want.

Here’s my disclaimer:  I’m not a parent, never have been, and never will be, and I claim no expertise when it comes to raising children.  I only know how I was raised and how that worked out for me.