Ok, total confession time. I’m sitting her at 8:47 p.m. drunk on Red Stripes and high from the hit I just took. I’m horny and tired of hanging out outside around the grill talking to rednecks that are married and unobtainable. I need dick and I need it now. Damn you Manwhore. Damn you Skaterboi. Damn you every man who I’ve ever enjoyed fucking. This isn’t going to work. I can handle being single, but I cannot and will not handle going without sex.
Just overheard my sister say, “I don’t know where [PD] is, but if she’s got a beer and a cigarette, she’s happy.” LOLOLOL