When he first came in I broke down into tears because I had just spent over an hour on the phone with my school. I won’t go into what he said because it was his usual sarcastic crap. I tried dropping out, but my academic advisor talked me into staying. Lately I just haven’t been able to focus on my school work and have been too stressed out over other things and my grades have suffered. I went from all A’s & B’s to C’s & D’s and it’s been driving me crazy. I can’t stand not doing well and getting good grades. On top of that stress everyone keeps telling me how damn smart I am and how proud they are of me. There’s nothing worse than having people tell me that all the time because then I feel obligated and don’t want to disappoint them. I’ve struggled with that problem all my life. I’m a people-pleaser and it sucks. Sometimes I wish I were stupid and no one had high expectations from me. Alas, that is not how my life was meant to be. Secretly though, I never think that I’m as smart and talented as people think I am. So what if I’m only one IQ point short of being a member of Mensa. I suppose I could have worse problems.
My academic advisor is a nag, but she means well. I know I should keep taking classes. I’m so close to finishing, but it feels like it’s years away. I have already been going non-stop since January of 2009, except for a short break right after I had my surgery. Even though I recently changed my major from accounting to communications, I’m only about eleven classes away from graduating. After working in the accounting field for seventeen years I found myself burnt out on it and just couldn’t imagine doing it for the rest of my life.
Speaking of the rest of my life, I know that the day will come when I will leave Skaterboi. That is inevitable. I’m no prophetess or fortune-teller, but I do know that I will not be here forever. I just wish he could see that as clearly as I do.
As always, have a great day, thank you for reading, and happy humping. 🙂