Bein’ good isn’t always easy.

Well, shit.  I was in the middle of writing a post when Skaterboi walked in and asked if I would go into the city with him.  I did.  I wish I hadn’t.

When he first came in I broke down into tears because I had just spent over an hour on the phone with my school.  I won’t go into what he said because it was his usual sarcastic crap.  I tried dropping out, but my academic advisor talked me into staying.  Lately I just haven’t been able to focus on my school work and have been too stressed out over other things and my grades have suffered.  I went from all A’s & B’s to C’s & D’s and it’s been driving me crazy.  I can’t stand not doing well and getting good grades.  On top of that stress everyone keeps telling me how damn smart I am and how proud they are of me.  There’s nothing worse than having people tell me that all the time because then I feel obligated and don’t want to disappoint them.  I’ve struggled with that problem all my life.  I’m a people-pleaser and it sucks.  Sometimes I wish I were stupid and no one had high expectations from me.  Alas, that is not how my life was meant to be.  Secretly though, I never think that I’m as smart and talented as people think I am.  So what if I’m only one IQ point short of being a member of Mensa.  I suppose I could have worse problems.

My academic advisor is a nag, but she means well.  I know I should keep taking classes.  I’m so close to finishing, but it feels like it’s years away.  I have already been going non-stop since January of 2009, except for a short break right after I had my surgery.  Even though I recently changed my major from accounting to communications, I’m only about eleven classes away from graduating.  After working in the accounting field for seventeen years I found myself burnt out on it and just couldn’t imagine doing it for the rest of my life.

Speaking of the rest of my life, I know that the day will come when I will leave Skaterboi.  That is inevitable.  I’m no prophetess or fortune-teller, but I do know that I will not be here forever.  I just wish he could see that as clearly as I do.

As always, have a great day, thank you for reading, and happy humping. 🙂

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