Well, shit. I was in the middle of writing a post when Skaterboi walked in and asked if I would go into the city with him. I did. I wish I hadn’t.
When he first came in I broke down into tears because I had just spent over an hour on the phone with my school. I won’t go into what he said because it was his usual sarcastic crap. I tried dropping out, but my academic advisor talked me into staying. Lately I just haven’t been able to focus on my school work and have been too stressed out over other things and my grades have suffered. I went from all A’s & B’s to C’s & D’s and it’s been driving me crazy. I can’t stand not doing well and getting good grades. On top of that stress everyone keeps telling me how damn smart I am and how proud they are of me. There’s nothing worse than having people tell me that all the time because then I feel obligated and don’t want to disappoint them. I’ve struggled with that problem all my life. I’m a people-pleaser and it sucks. Sometimes I wish I were stupid and no one had high expectations from me. Alas, that is not how my life was meant to be. Secretly though, I never think that I’m as smart and talented as people think I am. So what if I’m only one IQ point short of being a member of Mensa. I suppose I could have worse problems.
My academic advisor is a nag, but she means well. I know I should keep taking classes. I’m so close to finishing, but it feels like it’s years away. I have already been going non-stop since January of 2009, except for a short break right after I had my surgery. Even though I recently changed my major from accounting to communications, I’m only about eleven classes away from graduating. After working in the accounting field for seventeen years I found myself burnt out on it and just couldn’t imagine doing it for the rest of my life.
Speaking of the rest of my life, I know that the day will come when I will leave Skaterboi. That is inevitable. I’m no prophetess or fortune-teller, but I do know that I will not be here forever. I just wish he could see that as clearly as I do.
As always, have a great day, thank you for reading, and happy humping. 🙂
Do you feel that your responsibilities to your partner keep you from doing the things you really want to do? Have you ever used such responsibilities as an excuse for avoiding things you were afraid of?
I really hate some of these questions. This is one of those. Dr. Gregory Stock speaks of responsibilities to one’s partner. I’m trying to wrap my head around that one. I’m sure I’m making it more difficult to understand than it actually is. I’m not sure what kind of responsibilities he’s talking about. I think my selfishness is causing a mental block on this one.
I’m sure that at some point I have done whatever he’s talking about so let’s just say we did and leave it at that. We all know that I’m not afraid of much, but I do tend to avoid things like confrontations and conflicts. In the past I have used my family as an excuse to get away from my partner for a while, or vice versa. Sometimes a girl just needs time away to think and meditate.
That’s all for now folks. I hope you have a great weekend, and I’m sure I’ll be writing more before it’s over. I started a post earlier today, but Skaterboi interrupted me with an unplanned trip into the city. I should have just stayed home. So hopefully I’ll have that up later tonight.