Archive | May 8, 2011

Love & Sex Q&A #1

Love & Sex1

If tomorrow you found out that you and your partner had just conceived a child, how would you react?  How do you think it might change your relationship?

Well, considering that today is Mother’s Day, I thought I’d go backwards and put this question up.  I do find it a little strange that this is the very first question in the book.  Why start out with this one?  Maybe because it should be an easy one to answer, but as always with me, it’s never that simple.

First of all I’d have to have sex with my partner to conceive a child with him.  That hasn’t been happening lately.  Secondly, it would have to be an all out miracle for me to conceive a child because of my POF.  So if I somehow got pregnant I’d probably faint when I found out.

If we’re talking specifically about my conceiving a child with Skaterboi then that would not be good at all.  He doesn’t want kids or to ever get married.  He said he doesn’t believe in it.  How can you not believe in marriage?  I can understand not agreeing with something, but marriage does exist.  There’s no doubt about that.

So if Skaterboi and I were to conceive a child it would probably have a disastrous outcome.  He would probably not want anything to do with it.  I’d either have to raise it myself, or consider alternatives.  I’m not going to get into the abortion or Plan B or Pro-Life debates because my personal feelings on those subjects would surely offend a lot of people and I’m not looking to offend anyone, not knowingly at least.

In a way I consider myself blessed by not being able to have children.  It has given me the freedom to explore my sexuality without having to worry about any “Oops, I’m preggo” moments.  Condoms aren’t 100% effective and neither is the pill.  Also, when I was married, I didn’t use protection.  Why?  Well, because I just didn’t feel the need to.  Heaven forbid if I had gotten pregnant by one of my ex-husbands, especially the first one, the Con Artist.  That would have definitely been a disaster and a half.

I also believe that not being able to have children has made me more selfish than I probably should be.  I’ve never had to make sacrifices for anyone other than my family.  Children change most people and make them more responsible and unselfish.  It’s an admirable thing.  For me though, my selfishness has probably caused problems in most of my relationships.  I’ve never felt tied down to one place or one person.  That freedom is a wonderful thing, but it can also cause a person to roam aimlessly throughout life.  I am learning that there are more important things in life than what I want.  I hope God continues to open my eyes to things larger than myself.

Happy Mother’s Day from the Preacher’s Daughter

Hello, I’m the Preacher’s Daughter.  I’m also web mistress, blogger, writer, Southern Belle, natural redhead, daughter, big sister, aunt and the list goes on and on.  One thing I will never be is a mother.  I have something called POF (premature ovarian failure).  That means that the probability of my conceiving a child is about .02 in a million.  So if you are a mother, consider yourself blessed and take very good care of your little ones.  You’re lucky to have them.

My mother has always been an inspiration to me, even though I don’t think I’ve ever told her.  I do love and admire her very much.  She has been the dutiful pastor’s wife for about 25 years now and I believe she has enjoyed every minute of it through good times and bad.

She is a loving & caring mother, wife, musician, singer, minister, teacher & leader.  She has an adopted five year-old boy to take care of, the Preacher to deal with daily, one daughter with a one year-old son that she’s always happy to babysit, and her first-born (me) that she has to pray for constantly.  It makes me dizzy just thinking of all that she does to help care for her family and friends.

I am so blessed to have such a wonderful mother, and wonderful grandmothers, aunts, friends and a little sister.  The women in my life have taught me so much and I pray that I am able to inspire someone as they have inspired me.

In these hectic times of instant grits and instant coffee, we all need to remember those mornings sitting in the kitchen with our mothers, grandmothers, sisters and aunts sharing a real breakfast and a cup of fresh coffee.  Those are the times when we were able to hear of stories past and share our hopes for the future.

Enough of that mushy stuff.  Have a great mother’s day, and don’t forget to thank mom for not using a condom that one time.

Happy humping!