Love & Sex Q&A #93

Love & Sex93

What was the worst heartbreak you ever suffered?  How did it affect your feelings about intimacy and love?  All things considered, do you feel the experience was good or bad for you?

This is a tough one, not because I can’t think of which was the worst heartbreak, but because it was the worst heartbreak.

The worst heartbreak that I ever suffered was when my first real boyfriend didn’t ask me to move to North Carolina to be with him.  I was only 21 and being as young and stupid as I was then, I didn’t realize that it wasn’t that he didn’t want me there.  It wasn’t even his fault.  Later I found out that I had unknowingly left him broken-hearted.  It was all a matter of miscommunication I suppose.  As Willie says,  “regret is just a memory written on my brow and there’s nothing I can do about it now.” 

I never fully recovered from that heartbreak.  It’s followed me for past fifteen years, and will probably haunt me forever.  Over the years I’ve searched for him, found him, and contacted him.  I’ve tried to keep in touch, even trying to meet up with him again for a visit.  I did see him once many years ago and it nearly broke my heart all over again.  I felt so hopeless, because it seemed that we, my soul mate and I, would never be together again.

I’ve tried to put him out of my mind, but he’s always in there somewhere, popping into my thoughts when I least expect it.

He once told me that the song “Romeo & Juliet” by Dire Straits should have been our song.  “It was just that the time was wrong.”  Will the time ever be right?  I will love him till I die.  I know that much for certain.



5 thoughts on “Love & Sex Q&A #93

  1. I too had a love like that. We got together again about 2 years ago. Can you say total fucking nightmare. He had totally changed, I had totally changed both of us in the opposite direction. I actually regret wasting so much of my life thinking about him. It wasn’t meant to be then and certainly isn’t now. At least I now know that for sure and have totally moved on from it. 🙂

  2. The biggest heartache I ever suffered was my first delivered by R.S. my sophomore year in high school. I had the biggest crush on him since the 2nd grade and he knew it. By sophomore year I’d given up hope of ever having him, but at a party one warm summer night, he pulled me into a room and gave me the most passionate, honest, pure, heart melting, pudding in his hands kiss I had ever had, and themn left the room. I was floating on a cloud the rest of the night.
    He wasn’t at school that Monday. In fact, he was gone for good. Something happened and he left school. I’ve seen him here and there since then, but have never spoken to him. He made me so happy, and so sad at the sametime. That kiss still remains one of the best kisses I’ve ever had.
    Love your blog.
    P.S. Love that song. The Indigo Girls do a fantastic cover of it.

  3. Love that song. Hoping you’ll have the chance to be in love with someone you can call your best friend and lover soon. Hate that you’re putting up with a jerk. Hugs!

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