Archive | May 2, 2011

Love & Sex Q&A #93

Love & Sex93

What was the worst heartbreak you ever suffered?  How did it affect your feelings about intimacy and love?  All things considered, do you feel the experience was good or bad for you?

This is a tough one, not because I can’t think of which was the worst heartbreak, but because it was the worst heartbreak.

The worst heartbreak that I ever suffered was when my first real boyfriend didn’t ask me to move to North Carolina to be with him.  I was only 21 and being as young and stupid as I was then, I didn’t realize that it wasn’t that he didn’t want me there.  It wasn’t even his fault.  Later I found out that I had unknowingly left him broken-hearted.  It was all a matter of miscommunication I suppose.  As Willie says,  “regret is just a memory written on my brow and there’s nothing I can do about it now.” 

I never fully recovered from that heartbreak.  It’s followed me for past fifteen years, and will probably haunt me forever.  Over the years I’ve searched for him, found him, and contacted him.  I’ve tried to keep in touch, even trying to meet up with him again for a visit.  I did see him once many years ago and it nearly broke my heart all over again.  I felt so hopeless, because it seemed that we, my soul mate and I, would never be together again.

I’ve tried to put him out of my mind, but he’s always in there somewhere, popping into my thoughts when I least expect it.

He once told me that the song “Romeo & Juliet” by Dire Straits should have been our song.  “It was just that the time was wrong.”  Will the time ever be right?  I will love him till I die.  I know that much for certain.