Archive | April 29, 2011

Love & Sex Q&A #92

Love & Sex92

Who initiates sex more often, you or your partner?  When one of you feels like having sex, how does he or she let the other know?

When I’m in a relationship where I’m happy and happily horny, I initiate sex just as often, if not more often, than my partner.  When I feel like having sex I usually either just tell my partner that I’m horny, or I make it more than obvious in some other way that I’m in the mood.

Most of my partners that initiated sex usually did the traditional kissing then groping thing to let me know they wanted sex.  Occasionally, a brave soul would just come right out with it and say they wanted to fuck.  Some women might find that rude or offensive, but I find it refreshing.  Being told truthfully what a person wants is a turn on to me.  I don’t like going through all the usual bullshit just to get laid.  Don’t misunderstand.  I love flirting, but that’s not always necessary when it comes to sex.  It helps, but I’ve had sex many times when there was absolutely no flirting involved.

For example, I’m in a bar and I see my target chosen one.  I’m attracted to him and I know he’s attracted to me because he has looked at me too.  Why go through all that trouble of small-talk and flirtatious crap when I could just as easily say, “let’s go fuck.”  I know it’s what we both want, so why drag the whole thing out?  Why not just get right down to the business of getting busy?  Because if I don’t go through all of that crap, I’m labeled a slut.  So what?!  Call me what you may, just stay out of my way.  I’m a SLUT.  Denying that fact is futile.  I am a “woman with the morals of a man,” promiscuous, loose, and a cheater.

Ideally, how would you like your partner to go about initiating sex?

It depends on my mood.  Sometimes I like for men to just come right out with it.  Especially with men that I know are just going to be a booty buddy or one-nighter.  There are other times though, when I like to be romanced and courted.  Sometimes, even I like a little foreplay.  Heaven forbid if Skaterboi ever tried using foreplay to get me going.  The entire planet might explode.

Here is one definite way not to initiate sex with me.