Archive | April 18, 2011

Mission Accomplished

Neil Patrick-Harris as Dr. Horrible

Mission accomplished, well, one at least.  After spending all day on the phone with Dr. Bitch’s office and the pharmacy I finally got my refills.  After talking to the doc’s office again she told me that I absolutely had to make an appointment and come in, and that I could not have a refill for even enough for up until my appointment.  I had explained the situation to the lady in detail and could not believe what she told me.  Can they even do that?  Can they make me go weeks without my medicine?

I quickly told the woman, “I will be by to pick up my medical records later this week because I will be finding another doctor.  I would rather pay another doctor than Dr. [Bitch] because I never liked her in the first place.”  I said thank you and hung up.  Yes, I was snappy and rude to her.  At least I have a valid excuse this time.

I immediately called my Dr. Nice.  I was seeing him for two years before I moved.  (Reminds me of some of my romantic relationships.)  His office is three hours away.  (Again, this reminds me of some of my romantic relationships.  I like to keep them just within driving distance.)  I called and explained my situation and his nurse was happy to phone in a refill for me and scheduled me an appointment for next month.  Tomorrow I will have enough medicine to last me until I can see him, and it gives me time to come up with his fee.  His fee is more, but well worth the extra cost.  He’s a nice doctor.  I’ll refrain from saying what I’d like to say about Dr. Bitch.

So…I managed to elude the psych ward for one more day.  Yay!

The Great Pretender

Again I called the doctor’s office today.  I got yet another story about how they didn’t have the refill requests and I should call the pharmacy, again.  I called the pharmacy and they said that she had denied the requests.  Finally I found out from a lady at the doctor’s office that it wouldn’t be approved until I came in for a one-year exam.  I asked how much that costs because I don’t have insurance now.  It’s only $160.  Only $160?  Gee, considering that is only $10 less than what I get every week from workers comp, that’s nothing.  Sure I can pay that…in your freaking dreams lady!  Let’s see, do I choose food and shelter, or do I choose to pay my bitch of a doctor$160 just so I can see her for ten minutes and have her ask how I’m doing?

Yes, I am on the verge of having a freak-out attack.  Maybe someone out there understands how it feels to suddenly have your body’s supply of hormones taken away.  It’s like a never-ending loop of hot flashes, cold sweats, weakness, fatigue, headaches, insomnia, mood swings, and then more hot flashes.  I feel like I can barely get out of bed and when I do I don’t want anyone near me, but at the same time I feel so incredibly lonely.  I went through that for years before a decent doctor finally figured out what the hell was wrong with me.  Unfortunately, once I moved down here I had to find a new doctor.  Now she won’t give me a damn refill.  If she denies it one more time I’m liable to end up in the psych ward by tonight.

Until I check in later, here’s a song that is really speaking to me today.  Keep in mind that the people who I see in my everyday life don’t have a clue unless I tell them what’s going on.  I usually don’t do that.  I save it all for you.  Don’t you feel special? 😉

The Pretender was written by Buck Ram and covered by Freddie Mercury on the album Lover Of Life – Singer Of Songs: The Very Best Of Freddie Mercury.  Few songs speak to me like this one does.  I tried linking a YouTube video, but I haven’t been able to get it to work for the last few days.  So instead I’m posting the lyrics.

The Pretender

Oh yes, I’m the great pretender
Pretending I’m doing well
My need is such
I pretend too much
I’m lonely but no one can tell

Oh yes, I’m the great pretender
Adrift in a world of my own
I play the game but to my real shame
You’ve left me to dream all alone

Too real is this feeling of Continue reading