Love & Sex Q&A #87


Love & SexIf one day you were to learn that several years earlier your spouse had deceived you by having a brief affair, how do you think it would change your relationship?

The trust would be gone for me.  Eventually I might recover and be able to trust the person again, but they would have to earn that trust.

Now, for my side of things.  I’m a hypocrite when it comes to cheating.  I hate to be cheated on and I will leave any man who cheats on me.  However, I have been a cheater and have only been caught once.  To me that time that I got caught didn’t even really count because I had just met the man who caught me cheating.

Prior to my cheating on my ex-husband I never considered myself to be the cheating type.  It’s hard to cheat when you’re never with any one person long enough to be committed.  I was a player and I liked it that way.  I like variety and I got what I wanted.

After cheating on my ex-husband I got caught in a vicious cycle and became a serial cheater.  I felt like no man deserved to have me all to himself, so I did whatever I felt like doing, with whomever I felt like doing it with.  I was too good in the sack not to share my talents.  While dating one man, I’d throw in a one-nighter for good measure, then move on to the next man.  While with that man, I’d find someone to have a little fun with on the side.  Even when I was with Bobblehead Nerd, I cheated on him with Manwhore.  I can’t say I technically cheated on Manwhore because he was never committed to me, and he was sleeping with so many women while supposedly dating me that I lost count.

I’m not proud of being a cheater.  I hate being a cheater.  I despise cheaters.  I have to be honest though, and to be honest means to admit that I’m a cheater.

Remember my post To Be Or Not To Be The Mistress?  Well, the reason I couldn’t be the mistress is because he had a girlfriend and I couldn’t live with the fact that I was going to be the “other woman.”  I think at my core I’m just too selfish.  I want to be a man’s one and only and I don’t want his attention divided.  It had nothing to do with morals or guilt, it was pure selfishness.

Of course I’m in a unique position because I am not married now, even though I am living with Skaterboi.  I have no children and cannot have children so there’s no chance of ever having that little problem come into the picture.  In my mind my future consists of me growing old alone and maybe occasionally going out to a bar and picking up some older gentleman and slipping him a Viagra so I can still get my groove on.  Not the perfect picture of retirement, but I suppose it’ll have to do.

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