If your partner greatly enjoyed some activity that held no interest for you, would you be more likely to try to become interested in it, encourage your partner to do it without you, discourage the activity, or handle it some other way? Why?
It depends on what kind of activity we’re talking about here. If were talking about a sport or hobby then by all means my partner should do what they enjoy. I would try to take interest in it, but as in the case of my 2nd ex-husband, the Ox, things like playing tabletop Dungeons & Dragons, I had absolutely no interest in it. I did support his playing though, even though ultimately it was part of the reason we divorced. He ended up spending more time on his gaming hobby and with his friends than he spent with me, but that’s another story for another post.
If we’re talking about sexual activities such as fetishes and things like that then it would depend. I’m open to all types of sexual activities and fetishes unless they involve urine, feces, blood or pain. I’m a people pleaser by nature and tend to at least try to support my partner’s interests, especially if it makes him or her happy. On the other hand, I need to enjoy it too. If I’m not enjoying something my heart won’t be in it and it will show. I’m not that great of an actor. I’m a bit selfish and still hold firm to my “give and you shall receive” belief system. If you won’t give me any, I probably won’t want to give you any. If it’s something that I definitely don’t like and it’s something that my partner absolutely needs, then I would either offer alternatives, or just tell him/her that I just can’t do that.
For instance, Skaterboi really enjoys seeing himself cum, but I enjoy having my partner cum inside me, not on me. I think he’s watched too much porn. That’s ok occasionally, but all the damn time?! The alternative that I offer is that he cum on himself, but I help out with either a hand job or some other type of stimulation. This helps him out, but I end up with the short end of the deal because I’m still not getting what I need/want. Frankly, I really don’t think we’re that sexually compatible anymore. There are too many differences in what we like and I’m running out of alternatives to offer up. I told him that I didn’t like having intercourse with him laying on his side and from behind because it wasn’t very comfortable and it did absolutely nothing for me in the pleasure department. I do like the missionary position though. It gives me a sense of intimacy that is hard for me to achieve in other positions. He responded saying that he didn’t like missionary. We seem to be at a stalemate. It probably doesn’t matter anymore anyway because we haven’t had sex in over a week.