Archive | April 10, 2011

My Top 5 Threesomes

Frankly my dear, I don’t do threesomes anymore, but I do have a top five list.  I’ll try to put them in chronological order to be fair, but my memory is a little foggy for that time period so they may not be exactly in this order.  What?  You can’t believe that I’ve had enough threesomes to have a top five?

1.  Do, Re, Mi It’s a Threesome!

I described this one in an earlier post My Top 5 Most Memorable Sexual Encounters.  One Easter Sunday my gay/bi best friend and I were hanging out at the pool getting loaded and high and somehow ended up calling a friend of mine that I had been casually dating and we asked him to come over.  After going out to a girls & guys strip club we went back to the apartment and had a threesome.  I don’t consider it a full-fledged threesome only because I was not penetrated vaginally.  See I can use the proper terms sometimes.  That was my first male-male-female threesome.

2.  My First Female

My first female-male-female threesome was with a girlfriend of mine Barbie and her boyfriend Ken.  I had met her online and she finally asked me if I would like to hang out with them sometime.  One night I went over to Barbie & Ken’s apartment and we had a few drinks.  We immediately got down to the business of discussing what was about to happen between the three of us.  I won’t go into detail as it was pretty boring.  I would like to make it clear that I seemed to be the center of attention which was nice.

3.  The One That Shouldn’t Have Happened

This one is rather embarrassing.  I was hanging out with my friend Chiquita, a former stripper, and she decided that she wanted us to meet up with a male friend of hers.  I can’t remember his name for the life of me so I’ll call him Mr. Noname.  Chiquita, Mr. Noname and myself went to his house and they wanted to get in the hot tub outside.  Think Jersey Shore meets The Sopranos.  Once in the hot tub all hell broke loose and I found myself being led by Chiquita into this guy’s bedroom.  We had some decent sex.  She went down on me, then she went down on him, etc., etc.  It really wasn’t anything special except for it was her first threesome and my first with her.  We never saw him again or spoke of that night again.

4.  No He Didn’t! Oh Yes He Did!

This is probably one of my favorites because it’s just too damn funny.  Continue reading