Love & Sex Q&A #84

84

Love & SexIf a month before your wedding your wealthy fiancé(e) suggested drawing up a prenuptial agreement specifying the financial terms of any divorce, how would you react?  What kind of terms do you think would be fair in such an agreement?

First of all, if I had a wealthy fiancé I would not be worrying about a prenup.  Prenups are for punks and gold-diggers.  I’m neither.  If a person has money and is more worried about it than their relationship then they just shouldn’t get married at all.  I have no problem living in sin.  I’ve done it for years, with a few different people.  Believe me, it’s easier to leave a person when you’re not married to them.  Marriage is serious business and should be treated with respect.

I believe that you should get out of a marriage what you put into it.  If you go in with nothing, earn nothing during the marriage, then decide you want a divorce, you get nothing.  If you are getting divorced due to extenuating circumstances such as infidelity or abuse, the “victim” should get at least half of everything.  I know it’s not always black and white with divorce, I’m just giving suggestions.

LOL Just divorced. And no, that's not my car.

Image via Wikipedia

Personally, my first marriage to the Con Artist was a disaster and it took me eight years to get my divorce from him.  He refused to sign the divorce papers, help pay for the divorce, and in the end the Preacher had to help me get a lawyer and get the divorce without the Con Artist’s signature.  I left that marriage with nothing more than my clothes, a wrecked credit score, and a new life in NYC.

My second marriage wasn’t as bad.  I lived with him for two years, was married for two years, then divorced three years ago.  I also left this marriage with next to nothing and more bad credit thanks to his sporadic employment mostly due to his anger management issues.  I’ll admit that in that marriage I was ultimately at fault because I cheated on him.  I’ve never considered myself a cheater, but people do strange things when they are starved for attention.

As usual I’ve strayed from the real question.  Ultimately, I’d be willing to sign a prenup if I really loved the person and knew that they loved me enough to want to marry me.  I would however make sure that there was an infidelity and abuse clause in the agreement.

8 thoughts on “Love & Sex Q&A #84

  1. What a life you have led! But you have also been badly hurt. As I have said before, find a man who loves YOU not what you can give him.
    I have has three marriages, and two divorces. Now I am married to Mr Nev, who may not be God’s gift to women, but he has a kind heart and in his own way he loves me.

    have a great day

    love P

  2. I like your ideas about divorce and prenups. My marriages could have turned out worse when I left them. My trouble is getting over the second one even though it’s been 8 years and I don’t even like him. It ended so badly, maybe that’s why. Anyway, no body has to worry that I would want a prenup because I don;t have anything.

  3. After two divorces, neither of which I wanted, and no longer having the considerable savings I started out with, I have huge sympathy for prenups. I marry forever, and signed over all my assets to joint ownership, but neither of my exes married forever despite what they told me; and neither of them had the assets I did. So that left me in bad shape without a prenup. I’d want to bring it up in a general sense before the engagement rather than a month before the marriage though.

  4. Pingback: Who am I? | Confessions of a Preacher's Daughter

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