Love & Sex Q&A #82


Love & SexIf you did something thoughtless, would you rather your lover became loudly angry for a few hours or quietly annoyed for a few days?  When your lover is angry with you and won’t admit it, how do you know and what do you do?

Guilty!  Yes, I’m guilty of being the brooding pouting girlfriend/wife.  I hate confrontations and would rather not talk than argue.  This usually drives my men crazy.  I’m certain that the Ox (2nd husband) would fully attest to this.  It used to drive him crazy when I would just clam up and not argue.  He had anger management issues and when he fought he wanted to really fight, not just yell at me while I sat there like a statue.

He was never abusive to me.  I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about him.  It was just that he was abused by his father and he learned that the way to deal with anger was by being physically destructive and verbally abusive.  Thank God he never hurt me.  The Preacher would have shot the Ox on the spot.

If my man is angry with me and won’t admit it then that’s his prerogative.  I’d rather know he’s angry with me, but different people deal with things in different ways.  If I can tell, even if he hasn’t said anything, I may or may not say something about it.  It would probably depend on the situation and the person.  With the Ox I was usually too afraid of setting him off even more to say anything to him about it.  With my first husband, the Con Artist, I just didn’t give a shit.  With Bobblehead Nerd, I knew that if I started a conversation with him about it then he would never shut up and I’d never get a word in, so I just let it go.  My God that man could talk.

This one time at Wal-Mart, the Ox started turning red because, as people do in Wally World, there were two people with buggies stopped in the middle of the aisle talking.  This would not bother me.  I would just have said excuse me or gone around them.  The Ox does not understand such things though.  He started turning red and his eyes widened.  I knew that look, he was about to charge.  I quickly tried to distract him and pull him back the other way so we could get the hell out of there.  I managed to distract him with ice cream.  His friend that was with us just watched, too afraid to say anything.  He knew what the Ox’s temper was like.  He’d seen it at its worst.

Anyway, once we got checked out and got out into the parking lot he lost it.  He started yelling and ranting about how stupid and rude people are in Wal-Mart.  I agree that it’s rude to block an entire aisle, but I’m not about to start mass murdering people over it.  He was on the verge though.  He was even yelling at his friend.  I was so embarrassed that after we put the groceries in the car I got in and didn’t say another word.  Neither did his friend.

Then the Ox decided that he shouldn’t have lost his temper like he did and he drove over to Sonic and asked if we wanted anything.  Still too upset to say anything, we both just mumbled “no.”  He ordered his milkshake or whatever and we went home.  Thank God that after we got divorced he went to Anger Management classes because I’ve never in my life met anyone who needed it more than he did.  Well, that and medication.  Like I said, we’re good friends now, but I’ll never go to Wal-Mart with him again, and he knows that.

3 thoughts on “Love & Sex Q&A #82

  1. I shout and rant and rave and stamp my feet then I start laughing, cos being angry is futile and a waste of energy.

    Of course it does depend on the situation..If I saw someone being cruel to an animal then I would let rip and then I would probably want to take the animal home, which would cause another confrontation because my husband always says NO MORE ANIMALS… a couple of weeks ago we only had one donkey, 2 cats and 5 dogs NOW we have 2 donkeys 2 cats and 5 dogs.

    Ah well it can’t be helped!

    Love P

  2. Pingback: Love & Sex Q&A #91 « Confessions of a Preacher's Daughter

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