Archive | March 11, 2011

Po-Po hoe!

Madea: [about how sweet T.T. is] What’re you in here for, stealing flowers? What’d you do, steal candy from the girl scouts?
T.T.: I murdered 18 men.

That’s how I felt the night of my DWI arrest.  The lovely ladies that were in lock-up with me that night couldn’t believe that I, the Preacher’s Daughter, was there after 36 years of never having any kind of involvement with the law.  (Unless you count the time that I had sex with a NYC detective, but that’s another story.)  Anyway, for that matter, I couldn’t believe it either.

Today was just lovely. On my way out-of-town I turned to get onto the interstate and quickly noticed three State Troopers parked on the side of the on-ramp.  They were letting people go through, except for me of course.  I got signaled to pull over to the side.

Now, if I hadn’t of had my troubles with the county sheriff’s department last August and my subsequent DWI arrest I may not have thought twice about being pulled over, but since that was not the case, I was scared shitless.

First of all I still don’t have my actual physical license.  The suspension is off, but I haven’t paid the $300 in fines to get the physical license back yet.  The lady at the DMV told me it would be ok since I paid to get the suspension off.  She was WRONG!  Never trust a woman who works at the DMV and who has fairy figurines all over her cubicle.

Secondly, my inspection sticker expired in August, the time of my arrest.  Once I got out of the county jail and lost my license my car broke down and I just kind of never got around to it.  I was going to go get one today, but didn’t quite make it there.

The last thing that went wrong was that I wasn’t wearing my seat belt.  That I have no Continue reading

Hoes, Bros and the Preacher

A "friend" of mine on Facebook posted this today.

I know it’s a little difficult to read especially due to the horrible grammar, but I thought her morning rant about hoes was funny.  Funny especially because this is a young woman who was married to a former associate pastor.  They are in the process of getting a divorce because she cheated on him, with a man, but also with a woman.  Come to find out all three of them, her, her husband, and a female friend were having threesomes.  Then she and her friend started leaving the husband out of the action, so Continue reading