Archive | March 10, 2011

Life makes me nauseous

Lately I’ve been nauseous, a lot.  At first I thought it was just my usual sensitive stomach issues, but I’m starting to think that it might be related to my cutting back on my vicodin consumption.  Then again, since my surgery last July, I really haven’t taken more than one, or rarely two a day.  Usually a half is all I needed to take the edge off the pain as long as I wasn’t walking around too much.  I read here that nausea is one of the withdrawal symptoms and it also doesn’t necessarily mean that you are addicted to vicodin.  So maybe I’m not an addict, but I have found that once I take one I feel less queasy.  I learned in my Substance Abuse & Driver Improvement class that children of alcoholics are 60% more likely to become alcoholics themselves.  Since I have a predisposition to addiction I tend to be a little paranoid about not crossing that line.  Not that it’s ever stopped me from trying drugs or from drinking, and I am still a cigarette smoker.  I do worry about it though.

Before he became the Preacher, my father was an alcoholic.  Not in the “get drunk and beat up the wife and kids” kind of way, just in a way that he was drinking excessively in order to relax.  My mother told me recently that she didn’t even recognize the problem until her mother, my grandmother, said something to her about it one day.  My grandmother was never one to mince words.  She asked my mother one day if she thought that my dad had a drinking problem.  I was still young when all that was going on, so my main memories of him drinking were of keg parties at the pool, beer at the go-cart races, and him asking me to fix him a Jack & Coke every now and then.

In my thirty-six years I have never once seen my parents actually have a screaming fight.  I’ve seen them disagree of course, but it never seemed like they were really angry at one another.  When I would hear them disagreeing about something either my mom or dad would usually find a way to make the other laugh about it and the tension would be dissolved.  So to me it never seemed that my dad had a drinking problem, but like I said, I was very young at the time.

So either I’m going through withdrawals, or I have an ulcer, or I’m a hypochondriac, which is also quite possible.  Either way, lately life has been making me nauseous and I’m sick of it.