Archive | March 8, 2011

One Day at a Time Sweet Jesus


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I got back home Saturday after spending three days with my family.  I survived.  While I was there my sister and I were watching my nephew run off his sugar high and she asked how Skaterboi and I were doing.  She was puzzled as to why I had decided to move in with him and interested to know how things were working out.  “I’m just taking it one day at a time.”  That was my response.

Getting over my fears of being in a relationship again after Manwhore and Bobblehead Nerd has not been easy and it’s an ongoing process.  Not that they were the only bad relationships that I’ve ever had.  I’ve been married twice and neither worked out that great.  I’ve had far fewer long-term relationships than short-term ones and that’s been by choice.

Memory #4 – Follow the Signs

Before my second marriage I was living in upstate New York with a former boyfriend.  I had dated Yankee Cowboy for about six months when he asked me to leave NYC and move in with him.  I was anxious about moving in with him, but decided to go through with it anyway.

My friends had offered to help me load up all of my things into the U-Haul truck that I had rented, but before I left we had a little going away party.  Yankee Cowboy had driven down to help also.  It was getting late, about 3 or 4 in the afternoon so we said our goodbyes and hit the road.  I was driving the truck and left a few minutes later than Yankee Cowboy.  I got as far as the parkway and then the truck broke down.  I made it to a parking area and found a nice lady that offered to let me use her cell phone to call U-Haul.  They said that they would send someone to come and get me and bring me another truck.  I waited, and waited, and waited.  Two hours later I was still sitting there in the truck waiting.

It was winter and it was dark and had started snowing.  I made my way over to a pay phone a few blocks away.  Once again I called U-Haul.  They told me that Continue reading

Oral Sex: Receiving

Here is part two of my two-part post on oral sex.  You can find part one here.  I was surprised that I had so much to say about giving oral sex.  Let’s hope this one is as good, but maybe not as long.  I tend to get going sometimes and find it hard to stop.  I have so much random stuff crammed into my brain that sometimes it just comes bursting out.

Oral Sex: Woman Receiving from a Man

I thought I would specify this time that it’s the woman on the receiving end.

I know that some women shy away from receiving oral sex because they either:

a) are self-conscious

b) think it’s immoral

c) go into sensory overload or find it tickles too much

d) don’t believe that they can reach orgasm through oral

e) have never had it performed correctly or at all

f) any combination of or all of the above

So with that said there are a few ways to overcome these issues.  First of all you have to communicate with your man.  I know I sound like a broken record, but if you don’t tell him that you like it a certain way or suggest he try a different method, things will never change.

Secondly, don’t worry so much about the smell and taste.  As long as you are clean and take care of yourself you should not have a problem there.  If you think the hair vs. hairless thing is an issue, don’t worry so much about that either.  Many men actually like some hair down there.  If you’re worried, then just trim.  I know for people like myself with sensitive skin, shaving and waxing can be torturous, leaving us with breakouts, and that’s never pretty.  Just trim it up and keep it neat and clean.  If he really enjoys performing oral on a woman, and wants to please you, then he’ll get over the fact that you’re not completely bald.

Regarding the morality of oral sex, the bible never mentions it, so I have to think that since God created sex and did tell married couples to please one another sexually (paraphrasing of course), then I think it’s safe to say that oral sex is not considered immoral.  Just read Song of Songs 2:3; 4:16; 8:2 and then judge for yourself.

If you are very sensitive or even ticklish in that area, try asking your partner to be more gentle and take it slow.  If it’s started slowly then your body will have time to adjust to the sensations and if you just relax you’ll definitely enjoy it.  Although if you’re man isn’t a cunnilingus expert yet, try guiding him as he goes down on you.  Tell him what feels good, where he needs to go next, how he should use his tongue, etc.  I like holding the man’s head and gently guiding him that way when he starts going in the wrong direction or gets too enthusiastic too soon.  Personally I’ve found that even though I may think I can’t take much more because the feeling is so intense, I’m usually on the verge of an orgasm.  So if I hold out just a little longer I usually end up with the most powerful and pleasurable orgasms.

Oral Sex: Man Receiving from a Woman

For me the cardinal rule for men when it comes to receiving oral sex should be never to push a woman’s head down to their crotch.  If the woman wants to give you oral she will do so of her own free will.  If you want to ask for it feel free to do so, but NEVER try to force it.  Just remember, when she’s down there, she is in control.  You don’t want a pissed off woman anywhere near those sensitive bits & pieces.

Cleanliness is next to Godliness.  Keep your package clean and you shall receive willingly.  No woman wants to go down on a sweaty stinky man.  There are enough reasons for a woman not to want to go down on a man so don’t give her one more reason.

Be grateful.  Giving oral pleasure is not a requirement, but an option.  If your woman doesn’t seem that interested in giving you oral, then talk to her about it.  Give her a reason to want to do it.  When she does do it then show your appreciation by returning the favor.

I know not all men like the same things.  You have to talk to your partner or communicate with her in some way to get her to understand what you like and don’t like.  It’s not fair to get upset with someone for not pleasuring you in the right way if they don’t know what the right way is.

To cum in her mouth or not to cum in her mouth.  That’s a personal preference, her personal preference.  I prefer that a man asks first.  It’s a sign of respect.  Not all cum is palatable and not all women like the taste in general.  It’s an acquired taste.  I’ve even known men that liked the taste of their own cum, but would never want to taste another man’s.  For those of you that find that disgusting, have you ever had a woman’s cum on your fingers and then put them in her mouth?  Personally I don’t find that disgusting, but as I’ve said in earlier posts, I also would never go down on a woman.  It’s just my preference.

So there it is, the second part of my two-parter on oral sex.  Do you have any tips or suggestions?  I’d love to hear them.  Stay safe and have a happy hump day! 🙂