Archive | March 2011

Love & Sex Q&A #84


Love & SexIf a month before your wedding your wealthy fiancé(e) suggested drawing up a prenuptial agreement specifying the financial terms of any divorce, how would you react?  What kind of terms do you think would be fair in such an agreement?

First of all, if I had a wealthy fiancé I would not be worrying about a prenup.  Prenups are for punks and gold-diggers.  I’m neither.  If a person has money and is more worried about it than their relationship then they just shouldn’t get married at all.  I have no problem living in sin.  I’ve done it for years, with a few different people.  Believe me, it’s easier to leave a person when you’re not married to them.  Marriage is serious business and should be treated with respect.

I believe that you should get out of a marriage what you put into it.  If you go in with nothing, earn nothing during the marriage, then decide you want a divorce, you get nothing.  If you are getting divorced due to extenuating circumstances such as infidelity or abuse, the “victim” should get at least half of everything.  I know it’s not always black and white with divorce, I’m just giving suggestions.

LOL Just divorced. And no, that's not my car.

Image via Wikipedia

Personally, my first marriage to the Con Artist was a disaster and it took me eight years to get my divorce from him.  He refused to sign the divorce papers, help pay for the divorce, and in the end the Preacher had to help me get a lawyer and get the divorce without the Con Artist’s signature.  I left that marriage with nothing more than my clothes, a wrecked credit score, and a new life in NYC.

My second marriage wasn’t as bad.  I lived with him for two years, was married for two years, then divorced three years ago.  I also left this marriage with next to nothing and more bad credit thanks to his sporadic employment mostly due to his anger management issues.  I’ll admit that in that marriage I was ultimately at fault because I cheated on him.  I’ve never considered myself a cheater, but people do strange things when they are starved for attention.

As usual I’ve strayed from the real question.  Ultimately, I’d be willing to sign a prenup if I really loved the person and knew that they loved me enough to want to marry me.  I would however make sure that there was an infidelity and abuse clause in the agreement.

Are you a believer?

It's a ghost!

Image via Wikipedia

I swear that I’m starting to think that the house I’m living in is haunted.  Before I even moved in here I came over one day to help Skaterboi clean it up.  The previous tenants were evicted and left a lot of junk and trash behind.  While I was in the bathroom cleaning out the drawers and cabinet below the sink I found some cheap junk jewelry.  I found a couple of decent rings and what I thought was some sort of amulet for a necklace.  I just set them all on the kitchen counter and sort of forgot about them.  Later that day Skaterboi saw the amulet and asked if I had seen it.  I said I had, but that I wasn’t sure what was in it or how to open it.  He told me that it was someone’s ashes in it.  What?!  I’ve never head of anyone putting a person’s ashes in a tube/amulet thing to wear as a necklace.  I haven’t made up my mind yet on how I feel about that.  I quickly told Skaterboi that he need to bury it or something and he did weeks later.

Not long after moving in the landlord was over having coffee with us and he and Skaterboi were talking about the old man, another tenant, that used to live here.  Evidently he died here too.  Even after learning that I wasn’t shaken or worried.  I’ll admit that I do sort of believe in ghosts, but from a religious standpoint I’m not sure what exactly ghosts are.

About a month after moving in and adopting Biscuit, the puppy, I was in the kitchen sweeping and Biscuit decided that the broom was her toy.  She chased me as I swept and I even played with her a little, making her run in circles chasing the broom.  When I was done sweeping I propped the broom up in a corner in the kitchen where it meets the hallway.  Later as I saw working on my computer at the kitchen table Biscuit was playing with the broom again and knocked it over.  I heard a loud thump and looked at the puppy then just said I’d pick it up later.  So I continued working on my computer.

An hour later when I got up to get some tea I noticed that the broom was standing up in the corner again.  I looked at Biscuit, then at the broom, then back to Biscuit.  I knew that I had not picked the broom up and I was fairly certain that a six-week-old puppy hadn’t stood it back up either.  Who then, pray tell, stood the broom back up in the corner?

The whole time that I’ve been here though I’ve Continue reading

How’s a girl supposed to get any sleep around here?

Well, I tried, sort of.  I tried talking to Skaterboi about the issues I’m having, but he had to leave and said we’d talk more when he got back.  This happened yesterday by the way.  Once he got back last night he just went and got on the couch and started watching tv.  I waited patiently thinking that he just needed time to gather his thoughts.  They must have never gathered.  After taking enough pills to hopefully knock me into a blissful sleep I went to the bedroom.  As I lay there with a million things running through my mind I finally drifted off to sleep.  At 2:30 a.m. I awoke to Skaterboi getting into the bed with me.  He had fallen asleep on the couch.  I tried to just go back to sleep, but he had other plans.

When I’m in the mood for sex, I don’t mind being woken up for it, but when I’ve been suffering from horrible insomnia like I have lately, I’d rather just sleep when I can.  He started cuddling up to me, which was nice.  I like cuddling.  Then he wanted more.  He asked if I wanted it up my ass.  What kind of opener is that for sex?  I’ve already told him I don’t want anal and he’s not going to get it.  He kept on asking about that and then started calling me “butthead” and then remarking that I “wear more clothes to bed than Luke Skywalker in Star Wars III.”  Who’s waving their geek freak flag now jackass?  It ended with me rolling over facing away from him and going back to sleep, but not after having to get up and have a cigarette and some tea to calm my nerves.  Besides my tummy troubles, I’ve been having chest pains a lot lately and I know it’s stress related.  Even this damn sleepy time tea isn’t helping calm my nerves.  Damn you cute little sleepy time bear!

Anyway, insulting me and calling me names is NOT a turn on.  At this point I don’t know what to do.  He didn’t say a word about it all day today.  Tomorrow I plan on getting all of my homework done so that I can go up to the Preacher’s house on Friday.  I may stay there all week.  I don’t care if they don’t have internet or cable TV.  I’ll take some DVDs and my laptop though.  I wish I could just get in my car and go on a mini-vacation, but that’s not possible right now. 😦

Love & Sex Q&A #83


Love & SexHave you ever had a lover you wanted to break up with but keep as a friend?  or perhaps as a casual sex partner?

Yes, yes, and yes!  I’ve had many lovers that I wish I were still friends with or could have as a casual sex partner, aka “fuck buddy.”  Not that I don’t have any former lovers that I’m still friends with, there are just others that I’ve unfortunately lost contact with.  And no, I’m not talking about Manwhore.  The sex with him wasn’t that great anyway.  He was funny though, and I love a man who can make me laugh.

As far as f-buddies are concerned, I don’t have any of those right now.  Since I’m doing the monogamy thing now, having a f-buddy is out of the question.  However, if I were to have one, I’ve got a list of men that I would choose from.  Most likely the majority of them would still be up for it.

I recently got a message from one on Facebook that I used to see on a very loose basis a long time ago.  He’s a successful, intelligent, funny, sexy, well-hung man in Atlanta and I’ve always adored him.  Unfortunately he leads a very busy life and I only saw him one more time after I left Atlanta.  He came to NYC for business and I met him at his hotel.  There were no awkward hello’s or conversation.  We were friends and knew what we were both there for, sex.  It was pretty much just us getting down to our own business.  Oh my green jeans!  It was fabulous and very memorable.  Every time with him was special, not like just a plain old booty call.  I wouldn’t mind getting some more of him, but I’m not sure that will ever happen.  Never say never, right?

The question specifies that it’s lovers that you wanted to break up with.  I admit that I’m an awful girlfriend at times and I usually break up with guys for the most miniscule of reasons.  I call it the Seinfeld Syndrome.  There always seems to be something about the person that drives me crazy to the point that I just can’t take it anymore.  I also like to look at it as my subconscious telling me that he’s not “the one.”

Versatile Blogger Award

The Redneck Princess nominated me for the Versatile Blogger award!  She called my blog “Total awesomeness.”  Thanks girl! Right back at ya!

So here’s how it works.  I’m supposed to share 7 random facts about myself.  Here they are.

  1. I love olives.  I have a gigantic jar of them in the fridge.  (Olives help reduce nausea.)  I used to eat so many when I was a kid that my grandmother was always afraid that I would start puking all over her baby blue shag carpet.  I never did.  See they work. 😉
  2. I love pajamas, especially the matching men’s style with button down top and long bottoms.  Very comfy in the winter. 🙂
  3. I hate wearing shoes.  I would wear flip-flops all year long if possible.  Thankfully the heat and humidity here affords me to wear my flip-flops most of the time.
  4. Because I love me some flip-flops I have to keep my nails polished at all times.  I usually paint toes and fingers at least once a week and my nail polish collection is getting out of control.  This week I went with a gradient look.  From dark pink to light pink on my toes, and from light blue to dark gunmetal on my fingers.  Loving it so far.
  5. I secretly love Afroman’s music.
  6. Other than Clark Kent and Oliver McQueen, I would have a threesome with Jay & Silent Bob if that were an actual possibility, but it’s not.  I’ll get over it.  Probably.
  7. I worry about everything.  I try not to, but it’s impossible.

Next I share the award with 7 other blogs and link to the recipients.  And the winners ARE….and as the Redneck Princess said, “if you have already been chosen, I apologize, please don’t do all this work again!!”