Archive | February 27, 2011

Oral Sex: Giving

As promised, here is part one of my two-part post on oral sex.  I’ve wanted to write about this for a while now.  I just had to figure out which direction to take it.  Oral sex is obviously very important to the majority of men and women.  Unfortunately, not everyone enjoys giving oral sex which is a damn shame.  However, I can understand why some people shy away from it.  There are a lot of factors involved that can make it either enjoyable or not fun at all.  Keep in mind that this is based on my personal experiences and in no way am I telling you that my way is the only way.  It’s just how I do it, what I like and things that I’ve noticed men tend to like.

Oral Sex: Giving to a Man

This is something that I enjoy very much.  Turning a man on this way actually turns me on.  The more I suck, the wetter I get.  It’s not that I love the taste or enjoy having a cock in my mouth.  It’s the joy of giving.  It’s the joy of exploration and finding out what he likes and what will make him moan with pleasure.

Not all men like the same things when it comes to oral.  Of course they all like having their cock in a woman’s mouth, but there are other subtleties to the act that you have to take into consideration.  Does he like you to also use your hands or not?  Rough or gentle?  Teeth or no teeth?  I’ve been with men that liked it rough and men that liked it gentle.  Some that even liked the feeling of my teeth gently scraping it.  Those were usually the same ones that enjoyed a side of pain with their orgasms.  It’s all a matter of paying attention and communicating with your partner.

The head of the penis is the most sensitive part so I always pay special attention to it, but I also like to do the lollipop thing and lick it up and down too.  That helps me get the whole thing lubricated.  Lubrication is key.  Keeping a glass of water or something close by is a good idea.  If you starting getting dry mouth then just use your hand for a minute and take a swig of water.

Your tongue is his friend.  Using your tongue you can give him different sensations.  Again, pay attention to how he reacts to see what is working for him.  If you’re lucky he might even tell you.  I also use my tongue to cover my bottom teeth and make sure that they don’t hurt him.

Don’t worry about whether or not you can deep throat it because few women can and unless you naturally have no gag reflex it takes a lot of practice to get to the point where you can deep throat.  From my experience most men aren’t expecting you to be able to deep throat it anyway.  Also unless the guy has an above-average sized penis you won’t have to work too hard to get most of it inside your mouth.

Don’t like eating pubic hairs?  Ask him if he’s ever shaved down there before.  If yes, then ask if he would again.  (If you throw in the fact that you’ll be willing to suck his balls if he’s shaven, then the next time you go down there it’ll be hair-free.)  I think it’s become more common for men to shave, mainly because they have heard that it makes their penis appear larger.  It’s true.  When a man shaves, or even just trims closely, more of the penis is visible and therefore appears larger.  Don’t forget though that not all men are showers, the majority are growers.

I’m not going to give you a huge list of how-to tips because if you do a search online for oral sex tips you’ll get over 3 million results.  My main piece of advice is to just pay attention to his physical cues, talk to him, ask him what he likes and doesn’t like.  Have fun with it.  Exploring and finding out how to please your partner can be one of the most enjoyable parts of a relationship.

Oh, and don’t forget to breathe.  It may sound silly, but breathing through your nose while going down on him will help to keep your stamina up.

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Image by Bearman2007 via Flickr

Oral Sex: Giving to a Woman

As a girl who enjoys receiving oral sex and finds it an integral part of a good sex life, I hardly know where to begin.

First of all I do not like when a man gets down there and just beats my clitoris to death with his tongue.  It should start slowly and gently with plenty of lubrication.  The same thing applies here as with the women.  Keeping some water close by is always a good idea.  If you’re really adventurous, try some flavored lube.

Actually a lot of what I stated above for giving oral to a man applies to giving oral to a woman also.  Your tongue is your friend, use it wisely.  Pay attention to how she reacts to see what she likes and what she doesn’t like.  Talk to her and ask her what she wants you to do.  Let her guide you.

Women are just as sensitive down there as men are so be gentle at first.  It takes time to build up to the much-anticipated (and loved – by me) sucking (not biting) of the clit or thrusting of the tongue into the vagina.

Use your fingers (well manicured fingers of course).  When combined with the use of your tongue this can give her a mind-blowing orgasm.  Whether you’re fingering her while sucking her clit or licking around the outside or gently rubbing her clit while thrusting your tongue in and out, she’s going to squirm.

Don’t be afraid to put your tongue inside her.  When a man does that to me it’s almost better than being penetrated by a penis.  It’s definitely better than any sex toy.

Well there it is, part one of my oral sex post.  Part two will be about receiving oral sex.  Yes, there are things to be said about receiving it also.

If you have any tips or comments I’d love to hear them. 🙂

“Act like you feel it. That’s what the whore’s do.”

What better way to close out February, the month of Love (controlling urge to gag), than with a great quote from one of my favorite comediennes  LaWanda Page.  Most of you probably know her better as “Aunt Esther” from the 1970’s television show Sanford & Son.

“Act like you feel it. That’s what the whore’s do” is advice that probably many women already follow which I find to be a damn shame.  No woman should ever have to compromise her own pleasure and enjoyment.  However, I can completely understand why some women fake orgasms and pretend to enjoy sex in general.  Some men just don’t have a clue about how to please a woman and some just don’t care.  In both cases the answer is communication.  If you aren’t willing to talk to your partner about what each of you like and what it takes to get you both off, then shame on you.

By the way, today is “No Brainer Day” and that’s why I’m writing this post.  This one is definitely a “no brainer.”

Have a great No Brainer Day!

Warning: Not safe for work.  Good thing it’s Sunday and you’re not at work (hopefully).