Archive | January 20, 2011

To be or not to be the mistress.


Madame de Pompadour, mistress of Louis XV of France, circa 1750

That is the question for today.  When I was twenty-one a very good friend of mine, and fellow preacher’s kid, set me up with an older married gentleman who was looking for an arrangement of sorts.  He was in search of a mistress.  I met with him for lunch one day to see how we liked one another and to discuss the details of the arrangement.  Afterward I decided that I was not the mistress that he was searching for and very politely told him that I was not interested.

Again I’ve met an older gentleman, soon to be married, that is searching for the perfect mistress.  To him this means a woman who is younger, pretty, intelligent, funny, and understands the boundaries that come with being a mistress.  When we discussed it he made it sound like more of a business arrangement than an affair.  It would be purely physical and financially beneficial for both of us due to the fact that I can offer certain business services that he is needing.

I believe that any good relationship will have its benefits, whether they be financial, sexual, emotional or otherwise.  There is always a reason why we are attracted to others and why we want a relationship with them.  If there were no benefits to being in a relationship then why would we do it?  Just because this man is offering me financial and business perks along with a steady sex life, does that make it any less of a relationship?

My difficulty in making a decision here is that I am not entirely heathenish, I do have morals and a conscience that talks to me occasionally.  I’m still unsure of whether I could actually go through with this type of arrangement, as tempting as it may be.  The thing that I do admire in this gentleman is his honesty and openness with me about what type of relationship he wants and what he would expect from me.  Going into a relationship knowing that I will be the other woman somehow sets my mind at ease.  There’s no worrying about whether he is cheating because I already know he is, with me.  Also I’m left with the option of seeing other men because how can he expect me to be monogamous if he’s not.

The only problem I can foresee is the involvement of feelings.  If he gets to be too attached to me, falls in love with me, wants only me, that could be a big problem.  It’s easy to say that there won’t be any hard feelings or heart-break if I find a man who I want to marry, but what about her, the main woman in his life?  She could end up hurt and that I’m not comfortable with at all.  Not to mention any possible suitors that I may have would also have to remain unaware of the fact that I was a “kept woman” and I don’t like having to lie to people.  It only causes problems.

So I suspect that my dreams of being a “kept woman” will just be put on the side yet again and I will continue my search for my morally acceptable relationship with Mr. Right.

Am I the only “preacher’s kid” in the family?

Lately I’ve pondered how my life has gone from being like a bad TV sitcom/reality show to being more like a crime drama meets Sex in the City.  I can’t go into details because of course then I’d have to kill you, but it’s mostly the Preacher’s fault.  He likes to think of himself as the John Wayne/Andy Griffith type, standing up for justice, the American way and all that good shit.  So far it’s done nothing but get him lots of death threats over the years.  Well maybe that’s not entirely true.  He has done a lot of good things and has helped thousands of people in need over the years.  It’s just all a little overwhelming for me sometimes because when he gets really depressed or worried he likes to use me as a confidant and sounding board.  Like I’ve said before, men love a woman who will listen to them, and I guess Mom has about had her fill of listening to him over the last 38 years, so that pretty much just leaves me.  My sister is just like the Preacher as far as personality and stubbornness is concerned so she’s no help.

I realized last night that I sometimes feel like the only “preacher’s kid” in the family.  That’s strange because I have a younger sister and younger brother.  It must be because I’m the oldest and being the Preacher’s confidant and girl-Friday can be exhausting.  I sometimes find myself wishing they would just move away and get out of the ministry.  It’s selfish of me, I know.  I’ve always been the one to move/run away, but now that I’m older I feel less inclined to run.  I prefer to be lazy and just sit and marinate.  I think it’s their turn.  God knows I could use a break.  (Are you listening God?)

P.S.  I’m taking Quidmont’s advice and keeping this short and sweet.  So that’s all for now y’all.