I got a feeling. Two things you should never say to a woman in bed.

Two things you should never say to a woman in bed.

1.      Never say “I love you” for the first time when you laying in bed with a woman, either during sex or pre- or post-coital.  It just makes it seem less sincere.  Of course I’m a wonderful lover and you either are about to have some damn good sex, or you already did, but come on guys, at least try to make it romantic.  I tend not to believe that a guy is really in love with me when he says that at that particular moment.  And definitely don’t say it right before sex because then it just sounds like you’re trying to get in my pants, and that’s just sad.

My first husband told me that he loved me for the first time while in bed, post-coital.  It was not romantic and I honestly didn’t believe him at the time.

It’s not that I don’t want to hear it; I just want to hear it at a more appropriate time.  I’ll also be more likely to say it back.  That is if I really feel that way of course.  I tend to take my time in saying those “three little words” because I want to make sure that I’m not just in lust and I’m really in love.  So if I don’t say it back right away, don’t take it that I don’t love you, just understand that I’ll say it in my own time.

2.      Never ask “Will you marry me?” Again, never ask this while laying in bed with a woman, either during sex or pre- or post-coital. The sincerity will be too much in question.  Is he just loopy from the endorphins or is he serious?  It’s just too hard to tell.  Oh, if I had a dollar for every time a guy asked me this in bed, well, I’d probably have at least twenty bucks.  LOL

My first husband proposed while in bed, post-coital.  It was not romantic at all and my response was just as unromantic.  I replied “Ok, I guess so.”  No wonder that marriage didn’t last long.

Now my second husband, he did it the right way.  He actually planned it out and asked me while we were alone and in the living room of my apartment.  I was sitting on the couch and he got down on one knee.  He was so nervous and sweet.  He tried to get the words out, but me being the ass that I am sometimes, I blurted out “Are you trying to ask me to marry you?”  I guess I kind of spoiled the moment.  It wasn’t on purpose, but it worked out good in the end.  I still said yes.

There’s actually a third one here but it doesn’t really have to do with telling a woman one of these things while in bed.  It refers to text messages and instant messages such as Yahoo Messenger.  I’ve actually had men tell me both for the first time that they love me and had proposals both online and via text.  There’s probably another twenty bucks.  No, no, no.  Bad boys!  Do not do that.  Ever!  LOL

4 thoughts on “I got a feeling. Two things you should never say to a woman in bed.

  1. Other things not to say to a woman in bed:

    1. “Did you cum?”

    2. “Actually, fat chicks kind of turn me on a little.”

    3. “Were you ever molested as a child?”

    4. “You know, I’ve heard there’s some kind of exercise you can do to make it tighter again.”

    5. “I had an ex-girlfriend who made those same noises.”

    6. “What makes you think I respected you in the first place?”

    7. “Don’t worry, NO ONE is really attractive when they’re giving head.”

    8. “No, really. You were the best ever. And I’ve had hundreds.”

    9. “Hey, turn on the TV. There’s a new “Criminal Minds” about to come on.”

    10. “Do you have any food in this place?”

  2. Pingback: Dropping the L-Bomb « Confessions of a Preacher's Daughter

  3. Pingback: Locked out of heaven: How I know when I’m in love | Confessions of a Preacher's Daughter

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