Archive | October 28, 2010

Grandpa got run over by a gold-digger

OK, this is actually something I wrote in April  2007, but I found it today on my computer & thought it was worth posting just for laughs.  I know I was laughing when all this happened at the funeral.  My grandmother had a great laugh & sense of humor.  She would have appreciated my take on the whole thing too.  Enjoy!

Grandpa got run over by a gold-digger

OK, so the subject line of this post is a little over the top, but it grabbed your attention didn’t it?  My late 70ish year old grandfather got married last Saturday.  Maybe she’s not a gold-digger, who knows, but it was one hell of a wedding.  I was surprised that most of the family even showed up to begin with.  No one was really for it.  As for me, I didn’t really care if he did or not, I was just bothered that he couldn’t wait a full year after my grandmother had passed away.  I guess that whole bombast he gave when she died about how she could never be replaced was just for show.  Apparently now he claims that their marriage was miserable.

Anyway, the highlights of the ceremony included…

  1. Something fell off the alter behind the minister right after it started. I think it was a small statue of Jesus.
  2. When the pianist was playing the Lord’s Prayer and everyone had their eyes closed & heads bowed (except for me) the lights went out…in all of downtown (name of town withheld).
  3. Just before the minister pronounced them Man & Wife…her grandson who was a “groomsman” keeled over like a tree falling in the woods.
  4. The bride & groom rode off to their honeymoon on a Gold Honda Goldwing motorcycle…escorted by his biker buddies of course.  As they drove off, my uncle in the lead on his motorcycle, had his radio blaring, it was playing “Hells Bells.”

Maw Maw…are you there?  Better yet, are you pissed?  LOL

Quote of the Day:  As my sister replied when my (then)husband gawked at the idea of my grandmother’s ghost making all of the lights in downtown go out….”You obviously didn’t know Maw Maw (name withheld) did ya?”