When I was eleven my dad decided that it was time for us to go back to church. It had been ten years and because I was so young when we left the church, it was a complete lifestyle change for me. It wasn’t that bad at first, but once he started preaching and I hit my teens, I think I went into shock. My dad went through phases. The one that I remember and hated the most was his “women must wear dresses and have long hair” phase. He has long since grown out of this phase, thank goodness.
I remember one day when I was thirteen and he wanted to go out to eat. He came in and told me to get ready and put a dress on because we would be leaving soon. I asked why I had to wear a dress. He just told me to do what he said. I got upset and told my mom that if I had to wear a dress I wasn’t going. I think that was the beginning of my rebellion. Before then I had pretty much always been a good kid that did as she was told. It sounds silly I know, but for a thirteen year old, it was the end of the world as I knew it. My mom must have had a talk with him because not long after, he backed down on the dress issue. Once he backed down, I stopped being so stubborn about it.
It wasn’t until late in my junior year that I really started rebelling again. I had a friend that he didn’t really like and I didn’t really care. Still, my version of rebellion never included alcohol, sex, drugs or anything too bad.
I was still a good girl until I turned twenty-one and then I met back up with a friend that I went to high school with and started going out and partying at clubs and bars. Still, there was only alcohol involved. Compared to most people my age, I was very tame.
When I was twenty-two I lost my virginity and moved to the big city. I partied, did some drugs, drank a lot, had one-night stands, sex in public places, all that good stuff. That only lasted about six months, then I was burnt out. After so many years of repression, it was about time that I sowed all my wild oats and then some.
It’s been almost fourteen years since I lost my virginity and sowed all those wild oats. I think having a birthday recently has caused me to reminisce about the good old days. When I read over my journals for that time period, I still can’t believe that I did some of those things. What the hell was I thinking?