What little innocence I had is now gone. I can’t believe that I actually believed that there were still people in this world that were infallible, above the sexual temptations of this world. That there were people that still believed in marriage, monogamy and integrity. I guess even the best of us waver at times though. Personally I’ve wavered more times than I can remember.
One of my favorite quotes is from Mae West. “I used to be snow white, but then I drifted.” It’s so true. Technically, I was an adulterer. Even though I waited until after I left my first husband, technically we were still married. The second time was right before the end of the marriage and I suspected he was cheating. I had found a profile that he had posted on an adult dating website looking for some one on one “fun.” Even though I never found out for sure whether or not he had actually cheated, I took that as all the proof I needed. After that I think I just gave up and my wedding vows sort of lost all meaning.
The whole point of this is that someone that I thought was a saint in the fidelity department is actually human just like the rest of us. At first I wanted to judge, but being the good little church girl, I remembered that verse, Matthew 7:1, “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.” So even though I’m still in shock and a little heart-broken, I’ll do my best not to judge.